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[Video] Flip It! Why Becoming an Overnight Success May be the WORST Thing to Happen to You

[Video] Flip It! Why Becoming an Overnight Success May be the WORST Thing to Happen to You

I get it. I, too, have dreamed about becoming an overnight success. Still do, in fact.

But, the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to believe that NOT becoming an overnight success may be the best thing to happen to you.

To illustrate, let me start with a story.

Over twenty years ago, a freelance writer wrote a book called Simple Abundance. This book ended up catching fire. Oprah had the author on her show a few times, the book was on the New York Times bestselling list for over two years, and by the time all was said and done, the author ended up selling over 7 million copies (5 million in the US and 2 million oversees).

Fast forward to today. While you might have heard of the book Simple Abundance, you likely haven’t heard of any of the author’s other titles. You might not know that she ended up losing all the money she made from Simple Abundance, and even declared bankruptcy.

She’s far from the only one. How many singers in the 80s had a massive hit, only to sink into oblivion? It was so common we even had a name for it: One-hit wonders.

How about people who win the lottery only to lose everything they won (and more) a few years later?

What do all of these stories have in common?

In my opinion? Success happened too fast for them.

Too fast? How can that be?

You see, every time you reach a big milestone, maybe it’s breaking the 6-figure mark or quitting your job to start your business or finally publishing your book, something shifts inside you.

The bigger the milestone, the bigger the shift.

And, if we’re not emotionally ready to accept the shift, we’ll unconsciously sabotage ourselves. Hence all the one-hit wonders.

Gay Hendricks has a name for it in his book, The Big Leap. He calls it an “upper limit problem.” We all have unconscious limits to how much success or happiness or money or joy we can accept. When we get more than what we can tolerate, we do things to bring ourselves down. That’s why after a particularly close moment with our spouse, we may start a fight or after we experience a big windfall of money, an equally big expense rolls in.

It takes both time and work to raise our upper limits and expand our capacity to receive. Which is why the journey to success is just as important as the success itself. What we end up learning on that journey is what helps us mentally and emotionally accept our success when good fortune does decide to smile down on us.

Look, I get how difficult and discouraging and frustrating the process can be. Waking up every morning and taking action even when you’re not seeing results yet, and worse, not having ANY idea when or IF you’ll see results is tough.

But, here’s the thing. The discipline and perseverance you develop during that process will serve you well when success finally does comes knocking on your door.

(And yes, it WILL come — maybe not how you thought it would arrive or when, but it will come.)

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

It may not be your fault you haven’t accomplished your big dream.

The problem may be who you believe you are.

Let me explain. You may have heard the famous saying, often attributed to Henry Ford, Whether You Believe You Can Do a Thing or Not, You Are Right.

I would take that a step further and say who you BELIEVE you are, determines what you can do or can’t do.

For instance, do you say make these sorts of statements to yourself?

“I’m no good at math.” “I’m a great cook.” “I’ll never be successful.” “I’ve never been lucky.”

Take a good look at those statements. What’s one thing they all have common?

They all start with a to be verb — a version of I am.

Take a moment to let that sink in. How many times a day do you say you ARE something, whether it’s a good thing like I’m a great cook or a negative thing like I’m horrible at math?

Either way, you’re defining your accomplishments by who you believe you are.

If you believe you’ll be successful at what you set out to do, then you’ll be successful.

If you believe your parents were right and you’ll never amount to anything, you’ll never amount to anything.

But, there’s even a deeper level.

Let’s say you’ve always had a dream of owning your own business, but you’ve never taken any action toward that dream. It may be because you see yourself as a wanna be business owner rather than an actual business owner.

Or, maybe you’ve always dreamed of being a published author, but you’ve never been able to find the time to write. You may see yourself as a wanna be author.

Mark Manson in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life talks about if you somehow never seem to make any strives toward your goals, you may see yourself as someone who is forever wanting to accomplish the goal but never actually does it.

For myself, what I call love-based goals are goals that are actually whispers from your soul. These are goals that for them to come true, YOU need to transform yourself into the person your soul is calling you to be.

Simple, right? But, how do you do it? How do you change who you believe you are so you can accomplish your goals and dreams?

Start by simply observing what your inner voice or inner critic, is saying to you. You may even want to write down what that inner voice is blathering on and on about so you can really analyze it.

Chances are, you’ll find your inner voice saying some sort of version of I am, such as: I’ll never be successful or someday I’ll write my book.

So, the first thing to do is to change what you’re saying to yourself, so say I am successful or I am writing my book.

Now, if you’re not successful or you’re not writing your book, your brain is going to call BS. That’s okay. What I’m aiming for here is to see what emotions start to come up for you. Is it fear? Grief? Resentment? Anger? A combination of emotions? Something else?

I don’t want you to do anything except pause and breathe and feel those emotions.

Those emotions are what’s standing in your way of changing who you are so you can accomplish your big dream.

And, once those emotions aren’t clouding up your judgement, it will be much easier for you to see a path toward making your goals come true.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book and my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

Has this ever happened to you?

You have a big goal. Maybe you want to start a business or grow a business. Maybe you want to hit a certain income goal. Or maybe you’re finally ready to start writing your book.

So, you start taking action toward that goals.

But … something funny happens.

All these fears start coming up. What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I spend all of my time working? What if my partner leaves me? What if my kids start to hate me?

Maybe you stop being able to sleep because of all of these worries.

Or, maybe you’re angry all of the time.

Or, maybe you waste hours and hours stewing about how everyone else seems to be further on their journey than you.

So, you find yourself procrastinating or losing focus. Or, maybe you simply can never find the time to work on them.

You’re busy, right? There’s always something more important or urgent to work on.

Right?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many, many people are unable to take even the smallest action towards their goals and dreams.

They have lots of reasons why. Some of those reasons are even pretty good. They don’t have the time or the money or they’re too old or it’s just not the right time. They can pursue their dreams when the kids go back to school or once their mom isn’t sick anymore or after they retire.

But, here’s the thing. Whatever you telling yourself right now, ISN’T what’s actually stopping you.

I’m not saying that reason isn’t true. I’m saying it’s NOT what’s stopping you.

I don’t care how busy you are, if you’re serious about your dreams, you can find 15 minutes a day to work on them. (And, trust me, you can do a lot in 15 minutes. I wrote 3 books in only 15 minutes day.)

So, if it’s not your excuses, then what’s stopping you?

Simple. Your fear-based emotions.

You see, all emotions fall under either love or fear. Fear-based emotions include fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, grief.

For most of us, we don’t want to feel our fear-based emotions (for obvious reasons). But, just because we don’t want to feel them doesn’t mean they don’t want to be felt.

It also doesn’t mean they won’t keep chasing you until you actually take the time you feel them.

But, there’s good news. Once you feel them, they move on.

(Yes, it really can be that simple. No, it’s not easy to feel your fear-based emotions, but it IS simple. All it requires is you pause, breathe and feel. Not react. Not DO anything about those emotions. Just be with them.)

So, if you see yourself here, I’d love to encourage you to try something different. The next time you’re taking action on your goals and some fear-based emotion starts to raise its ugly head (whether it be worry or resentment or anger or grief or shame or guilt or something else) rather than DO something about that emotion (including make up a story around why its happening) just STOP.

Stop, breathe and feel.

Then, once it’s moved through you, go back to working on your goals.

You may be amazed at the magic you create in your life or business.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! Are New Year Rituals a Waste of Time?

[Video] Flip It! Are New Year Rituals a Waste of Time?

The first time I heard about New Year rituals (actually it was more of a year-end ritual because it took place over Winter Solstice) I was intrigued.

But I also felt like it would be a waste of time.

Could rituals, any ritual, but especially New Year rituals, help me make my goals come true?

Well, as I had been spinning my wheels for years and never getting any traction or momentum around my goals, I thought I’d give it a shot.

And, I’ve been hooked ever since.

Part of the reason why I’m hooked is because what I did before was so … unsatisfying. Maybe you can relate?

I would spend that quiet time between Christmas and New Years feeling like a loser for everything I didn’t accomplish the year before. I would then take a break from beating myself up to create a long laundry list of new goals for the upcoming year. I would then move to feeling overwhelmed over everything I wanted to accomplish over the next twelve months.

Clearly, this wasn’t an ideal way to begin the new year. And, needless to say, all my good intentions would have disappeared by the end of January and my days yet again would be determined by everyone else’s priorities.

This all started to shift when I began using New Year Rituals.

My friend and spiritual mentor Christine Arylo taught me this ritual, which would take place during Winter Solstice.  It’s a natural time to pause, reflect and close the circle on the previous year as it’s when nature shifts and instead of our days growing darker, they grow lighter.

In a nutshell, we would take a moment to celebrate all that went right, process everything that went wrong and choose the lessons you want to take into the New Year.

So, why do you want to do all of that?

For precisely that reason — because we so often DON’T.

How many times do we rush right past a big win because we’ve got so many other things on our to-do lists? How many time do we bury our failures, maybe even refusing to call it a failure but give it some other name to try and keep ourselves from feeling bad about it?

If we don’t take the time to celebrate our successes, it’s like they didn’t even happen. Just like if we don’t take the time to feel the emotions of the failures, we’re dooming ourselves to keep repeating those failures until we feel the feelings and learn the lessons.

If you’ve ever wondered why one year seems to be exactly like the next, despite all your best intentions otherwise, this could be one of the reasons. You never took the time to pause, reflect and properly close the energy of the past year.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! Can Gratitude Help You Manifest Your Dreams?

[Video] Flip It! Can Gratitude Help You Manifest Your Dreams?

If you’ve ever dabbled into Law of Attraction principles or other spiritual practices designed to help you grow your business and manifest your dreams, you’ve likely been encouraged to have a gratitude practice.

And, if you’re like a lot of entrepreneurs, including myself. you may find yourself rolling your eyes at this advice.

It sounds too easy, doesn’t it? Just come up with a list of things you’re grateful and that somehow is going to help you manifest your desires.

Really?

Precisely how is THAT going to make you more successful? Especially if you’re struggling right now and the last thing you feel is grateful.

So, I get it. I was skeptical too.

Then, I read a study in the book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

A group of participants were asked to hold a beacon with DNA strands in it while focusing on unwinding the strands. If they just used their thoughts to unwind them (like what we all learned in the movie “The Secret”, which was anything you thought about, you attracted into your life) nothing happened.

BUT, the group of participants who felt grateful as they thought about unwinding the strands, they were actually able to unwind them by 25%.

The key is to combine the emotions of gratitude with the power of your thoughts. If you can do this, and do this consistently (like every day) you’ll manifest what you desire.

Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations there is. That means the longer you’re able to stay in gratitude, the longer your energy is operating at that higher level, and as like attracts like, that high vibrational energy is attracting your desires to you.

Now, I’m grossly simplifying Dr. Dispenza’s work here, but if you want a couple of pointers to get started, take a few minutes to watch below:

 

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! Are You Charging Too Much?

[Video] Flip It! Are You Charging Too Much?

For many entrepreneurs and business owners, especially when you’re first starting out, the tendency is to charge too little.

Which is why one of the first pieces of advice new entrepreneurs hear is “You’re not charging enough–raise your prices!”

But, my friend Morgana Rae has a different take. What she says is to NEVER charge too much. She believes it will always be easier to ask for — and receive — less than the value you give.

So. she turns it around and asks instead: What would it take for you to charge large amounts of money (even tens of thousands of dollars) and still provide more than enough benefit and value to never feel an inner conflict or guilt?

That’s a great question if you’re ready to start charging large amounts of money.

But what if you’re not?

What if you’re barely making ends meet despite working all the time? What if it’s so bad you find yourself resenting your clients or resenting your business because all you do is work and have nothing to show for it … and you’re still uncomfortable with the idea of raising your rates?

Maybe you’re afraid you’ll lose work. Maybe you think you’re already priced too high compared to your competition? Maybe you’ve even tried to raise your prices and it didn’t work out so you think you’re stuck.

Well I’d like to invite you to consider this question — maybe the problem is you ARE charging too much?

You might be thinking — how can that be? I’m barely making it as it is.

Well, if you truly believed in yourself and the value you provide to your clients, then you’d likely be charging more.

And the reason why you’re not is because somewhere, deep inside, you don’t believe you’re worth it.

So, what would it take for you to believe you have what it takes to charge more?

I invite you to take a moment to think about it. And, if you want a few more tips, take a moment to watch the video, too:

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! I’m Spiritual so I Should Never Have Bad Feelings

[Video] Flip It! I’m Spiritual so I Should Never Have Bad Feelings

If you’re a part of a spiritual community, including the entrepreneurial spiritual community, it’s not uncommon to hear things like:

• Sending love and light.

• I only focus on love, I don’t want to put any energy on anything negative.

• Don’t call anything a failure, you should rephrase that into something more positive.

• You don’t have to do things that scare you to transform, rephrase that into doing things that excites you.

• There’s so much negativity in the world, let’s just talk about the positive.

You get the picture.

This happens so frequently, it actually has a name. It’s called a spiritual bypass.

You’re spiritual! That means you shouldn’t be feeling any “bad” emotions. You only feel love and light and only focus on the positive.

So, let’s talk about this. It sounds good, doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to focus just on the good and not on the negative? And, if you’ve studied Law of Attraction, you learn that whatever you focus on expands so of course you want to focus on the good versus the negative.

But, as usual, things are rarely what they seem.

Believe it or not, your fear-based emotions, like grief, anger, fear, exist to help you. Fear is there to because there are times in your life that fear is an appropriate emotion — you seeing a shadow at the end of a dark alley — yes, your fear showing up and telling you to get out of there is a good thing. Anger is a reaction when your boundaries have been violated. Guilt helps us live in a community. And grief lets us know we loved. It’s our badge for loving deeply. And if you allow yourself to go there and fully feel grief and let it move through you, the gifts you’ll receive can change your life.

But, those emotions uncomfortable, so in many cases we don’t want to feel them. Instead we do all sorts of things to keep ourselves from feeling them — we drink, overeat, gossip, fight, shop, post inappropriate things on social media, distract ourselves by being “too busy,” etc.

The problem is, ignoring our emotions or burying them or running away from them doesn’t mean they go away. Nope. Feelings just want to be felt.  They stick around and bother you until you feel them. Once you do, then (and only then) will they go away.

And, when you don’t feel them, they build up. Which is why we’ve lost a lot of the benefit those feelings can give us — they’re so built up and so desperately want to be felt they start coming out at inappropriate ways. So, we can’t trust them or trust what they’re trying to tell us.

The good news is all is not lost. We can get back to the place where we can use our fear-based emotions to guide us — all we have to do is start pausing and allowing them to be felt and move through us, no matter how crazy they seem in the moment. And eventually we’ll be able to start trusting them again.

Watch below for more on what you can do to start trusting your emotions.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! Successful People Are Just Lucky

[Video] Flip It! Successful People Are Just Lucky

My grandfather was a very successful man.

He started a very successful business that flourished during WWII. When other people were cutting back, he was making money. He invested at the stock market at the right time and made a killing.

Heck, he used to go to Vegas and win at Keno. Keno has some of the worst odds. But, Grandpa would win. $1500 a pop.

Yes, Grandpa was lucky. And he knew it.

So, how did it happen? Was he born under the lucky tree?

Here’s what I think — I think he was lucky because he believed he was lucky.

It was a self fulfilling prophecy.

The more he believed, the luckier he became.

Now, I know some of you are saying “Michele, it can’t be that easy. And besides, I’m not lucky, so this wouldn’t work for me anyway.”

But, what if it COULD be that easy? Us humans like to overcomplicate things–maybe it really IS as simple as it sounds?

Still not convinced? Let me share a story. I decided to test this theory on myself.

For years I never won at raffles. Never won. I used to say things, “Oh I never win at raffles.”

So, I thought, what if I changed that? What if I started to say I always win at raffles?

Next time I was at a raffle, I decided to believe I was going to win.

And you know what happened? I won!

So, I used that evidence at the next raffle to believe I would win. And it happened again. Pretty soon I was always winning at raffles. It was getting a little embarrassing actually.

Now, I realize if you have all this evidence that you aren’t lucky and you never win at raffles, it may be tough to convince yourself otherwise. So, I would suggest starting small, even if it has nothing to do with money. Do you have parking lot karma? Every time you pull into a parking lot, a spot opens up? Start there.

Or maybe there’s something else you’re always lucky at you can focus on. Like maybe you have the best assistant in the world or you have a knack for publishing Facebook posts that get a lot of comments and likes. Or maybe you have a popular podcast. Focus on that. And, every time something happens in your business that’s successful and lucky, add it to your evidence that you ARE successful and lucky.

It likely isn’t going to change overnight. But, it CAN change, if you’re committed to flipping your perspective.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! What Do You Do When You Feel Like You Have NO Control?

[Video] Flip It! What Do You Do When You Feel Like You Have NO Control?

Have you ever had one of those days where it just feels like nothing is going your way and you’re helpless to do anything to change it? Maybe you got a call that your kid is acting up at school, a new client just cancelled and now you feel like you’re about to get sick.

Or maybe it’s not just a day–maybe it’s been weeks or even months where everything feels like an uphill battle. Your business, your relationships, your health. Nothing is getting any traction and you feel like you’re getting tossed about with no control over your life or business.

If this is you — I want to share a story.

In 2012, I had my meltdown. That was a difficult year. I had a lot of challenges including my mom being diagnosed with cancer.

One night in November, I started crying and couldn’t stop. For a couple of weeks after, I had nightmares every night. It was bad. I felt helpless and out of control.

And then, one day, a thought popped into my head. That thought was the old saying: “life is 10% what happened to you and 90% how you respond.”

Now, I had heard this saying many times before, but I had dismissed it. It just felt like one of those silly platitudes that didn’t really mean anything.

But, that day, something shifted. It suddenly landed that I wasn’t helpless after all. That even in the face of things outside of my control, like my mom getting cancer, there were plenty of things IN my control, including my response.

And, I was not responding very well at all.

So, that day I decided it was time to do something different. I got a spiritual mentor and I started down an amazing personal development journey.

Back to you–here’s the truth. No matter what life is throwing at you right now, you ARE in control.

You control how you respond and the decisions you make. You can choose to be empowered and make powerful decisions that are right for you or you can allow circumstances or other people to run your life.

I’ve got more to say about this in the video below, if you want to take a few minutes and watch:

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! I Can’t Sell Because I Hate Selling!

[Video] Flip It! I Can’t Sell Because I Hate Selling!

There’s just no getting around it. If you want to be an entrepreneur and own your own business, you gotta sell something.

Because if you’re not selling something — your time, your expertise, a product, a book, an opportunity, SOMETHING — you’re not making any money.

And that kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a business. (Not only that, if you’re not selling something, you actually don’t have a business — you have a hobby.)

But, what if you hate to sell? Then what? How can you sell if you hate selling?

Well, I hate to break it to you but there’s simply no getting around it. If you want to be successful as an entrepreneur or business owner, you’re going to have to pull up your big girl or your big boy panties and learn how to sell.

Yes, you can hire a sales team to help you, but especially when you’re first starting out, you’re going to be your best salesperson. And if you’re selling time with you — coaching or a VIP day or a high-ticket mentorship program — people are going to want to talk to you before they make a final decision. So, learning to sell is kind of important.

Am I telling you to do something you hate? Kind of. But, what I’d really like to invite you to do is to dig into why you hate it.

What is it about selling in your business that you hate? Is it asking someone for money? Is it owning your own value? Do you feel it’s inauthentic to ask for money to do something you love?

Or is it something a little more esoteric, such as do you think all sales people are slimy ands sales-y and you don’t want to be sales-y and slimy either? Or do you think all rich, successful entrepreneurs are greedy and you don’t want to be greedy either?

There may be something coming up for you during a sales conversation you don’t want to feel, so it’s easier to simply hate sales conversations.

But, that’s not necessarily serving you or your business.

Look, you don’t have to love selling to build a thriving, profitable business, but you at least need to not hate it. And, chances are, once you dig more deeply into the reasons why you hate it, you’ll probably realize you actually don’t.

And that’s the first step to making your business a success.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Online Marketing” book — you can check it out here.