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[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

It may not be your fault you haven’t accomplished your big dream.

The problem may be who you believe you are.

Let me explain. You may have heard the famous saying, often attributed to Henry Ford, Whether You Believe You Can Do a Thing or Not, You Are Right.

I would take that a step further and say who you BELIEVE you are, determines what you can do or can’t do.

For instance, do you say make these sorts of statements to yourself?

“I’m no good at math.” “I’m a great cook.” “I’ll never be successful.” “I’ve never been lucky.”

Take a good look at those statements. What’s one thing they all have common?

They all start with a to be verb — a version of I am.

Take a moment to let that sink in. How many times a day do you say you ARE something, whether it’s a good thing like I’m a great cook or a negative thing like I’m horrible at math?

Either way, you’re defining your accomplishments by who you believe you are.

If you believe you’ll be successful at what you set out to do, then you’ll be successful.

If you believe your parents were right and you’ll never amount to anything, you’ll never amount to anything.

But, there’s even a deeper level.

Let’s say you’ve always had a dream of owning your own business, but you’ve never taken any action toward that dream. It may be because you see yourself as a wanna be business owner rather than an actual business owner.

Or, maybe you’ve always dreamed of being a published author, but you’ve never been able to find the time to write. You may see yourself as a wanna be author.

Mark Manson in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life talks about if you somehow never seem to make any strives toward your goals, you may see yourself as someone who is forever wanting to accomplish the goal but never actually does it.

For myself, what I call love-based goals are goals that are actually whispers from your soul. These are goals that for them to come true, YOU need to transform yourself into the person your soul is calling you to be.

Simple, right? But, how do you do it? How do you change who you believe you are so you can accomplish your goals and dreams?

Start by simply observing what your inner voice or inner critic, is saying to you. You may even want to write down what that inner voice is blathering on and on about so you can really analyze it.

Chances are, you’ll find your inner voice saying some sort of version of I am, such as: I’ll never be successful or someday I’ll write my book.

So, the first thing to do is to change what you’re saying to yourself, so say I am successful or I am writing my book.

Now, if you’re not successful or you’re not writing your book, your brain is going to call BS. That’s okay. What I’m aiming for here is to see what emotions start to come up for you. Is it fear? Grief? Resentment? Anger? A combination of emotions? Something else?

I don’t want you to do anything except pause and breathe and feel those emotions.

Those emotions are what’s standing in your way of changing who you are so you can accomplish your big dream.

And, once those emotions aren’t clouding up your judgement, it will be much easier for you to see a path toward making your goals come true.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book and my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

Has this ever happened to you?

You have a big goal. Maybe you want to start a business or grow a business. Maybe you want to hit a certain income goal. Or maybe you’re finally ready to start writing your book.

So, you start taking action toward that goals.

But … something funny happens.

All these fears start coming up. What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I spend all of my time working? What if my partner leaves me? What if my kids start to hate me?

Maybe you stop being able to sleep because of all of these worries.

Or, maybe you’re angry all of the time.

Or, maybe you waste hours and hours stewing about how everyone else seems to be further on their journey than you.

So, you find yourself procrastinating or losing focus. Or, maybe you simply can never find the time to work on them.

You’re busy, right? There’s always something more important or urgent to work on.

Right?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many, many people are unable to take even the smallest action towards their goals and dreams.

They have lots of reasons why. Some of those reasons are even pretty good. They don’t have the time or the money or they’re too old or it’s just not the right time. They can pursue their dreams when the kids go back to school or once their mom isn’t sick anymore or after they retire.

But, here’s the thing. Whatever you telling yourself right now, ISN’T what’s actually stopping you.

I’m not saying that reason isn’t true. I’m saying it’s NOT what’s stopping you.

I don’t care how busy you are, if you’re serious about your dreams, you can find 15 minutes a day to work on them. (And, trust me, you can do a lot in 15 minutes. I wrote 3 books in only 15 minutes day.)

So, if it’s not your excuses, then what’s stopping you?

Simple. Your fear-based emotions.

You see, all emotions fall under either love or fear. Fear-based emotions include fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, grief.

For most of us, we don’t want to feel our fear-based emotions (for obvious reasons). But, just because we don’t want to feel them doesn’t mean they don’t want to be felt.

It also doesn’t mean they won’t keep chasing you until you actually take the time you feel them.

But, there’s good news. Once you feel them, they move on.

(Yes, it really can be that simple. No, it’s not easy to feel your fear-based emotions, but it IS simple. All it requires is you pause, breathe and feel. Not react. Not DO anything about those emotions. Just be with them.)

So, if you see yourself here, I’d love to encourage you to try something different. The next time you’re taking action on your goals and some fear-based emotion starts to raise its ugly head (whether it be worry or resentment or anger or grief or shame or guilt or something else) rather than DO something about that emotion (including make up a story around why its happening) just STOP.

Stop, breathe and feel.

Then, once it’s moved through you, go back to working on your goals.

You may be amazed at the magic you create in your life or business.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! Are New Year Rituals a Waste of Time?

[Video] Flip It! Are New Year Rituals a Waste of Time?

The first time I heard about New Year rituals (actually it was more of a year-end ritual because it took place over Winter Solstice) I was intrigued.

But I also felt like it would be a waste of time.

Could rituals, any ritual, but especially New Year rituals, help me make my goals come true?

Well, as I had been spinning my wheels for years and never getting any traction or momentum around my goals, I thought I’d give it a shot.

And, I’ve been hooked ever since.

Part of the reason why I’m hooked is because what I did before was so … unsatisfying. Maybe you can relate?

I would spend that quiet time between Christmas and New Years feeling like a loser for everything I didn’t accomplish the year before. I would then take a break from beating myself up to create a long laundry list of new goals for the upcoming year. I would then move to feeling overwhelmed over everything I wanted to accomplish over the next twelve months.

Clearly, this wasn’t an ideal way to begin the new year. And, needless to say, all my good intentions would have disappeared by the end of January and my days yet again would be determined by everyone else’s priorities.

This all started to shift when I began using New Year Rituals.

My friend and spiritual mentor Christine Arylo taught me this ritual, which would take place during Winter Solstice.  It’s a natural time to pause, reflect and close the circle on the previous year as it’s when nature shifts and instead of our days growing darker, they grow lighter.

In a nutshell, we would take a moment to celebrate all that went right, process everything that went wrong and choose the lessons you want to take into the New Year.

So, why do you want to do all of that?

For precisely that reason — because we so often DON’T.

How many times do we rush right past a big win because we’ve got so many other things on our to-do lists? How many time do we bury our failures, maybe even refusing to call it a failure but give it some other name to try and keep ourselves from feeling bad about it?

If we don’t take the time to celebrate our successes, it’s like they didn’t even happen. Just like if we don’t take the time to feel the emotions of the failures, we’re dooming ourselves to keep repeating those failures until we feel the feelings and learn the lessons.

If you’ve ever wondered why one year seems to be exactly like the next, despite all your best intentions otherwise, this could be one of the reasons. You never took the time to pause, reflect and properly close the energy of the past year.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

7 Hot Predictions for Business Success in 2018

7 Hot Predictions for Business Success in 2018

Along with creating new goals and resolutions, it’s also that time of year to dust off the crystal ball (aka an angel snow globe in my case) and make some predictions for the New Year, especially around the hot topic of business success.

And, I’m not going to sugar coat it; 2017 was a little rough, and it could get rougher.

BUT, as always, there is opportunity as well, just as long as you’re open to what it looks like (in other words, it may not be dressed the way it was before OR the way you’d prefer it to be—but more on that in a bit).

Without further ado, let’s see what 2018 has in store for us.

1. It’s no longer “business as usual.”

One thing that became VERY clear in 2017 is how fast marketing strategies can simply cease to work, especially in the coaching/transformation industry. What used to work, isn’t (or, at least, it’s not working the way it used to).

Needless to say, this took some folks by surprise (while creating a lot of panic).

So, what happened?

I think it’s the part of the end of a cycle of two basic human drives (or two things we’re hardwired to be attracted to):

* The attraction of “new”

* And the attraction of “easy”

I’ll explain.

You may not know this, but there was a time (really!) where all you had to do was post a little opt-in box on your website with the words “Free Newsletter!” and people would sign up. (I actually once had someone email me wanting to get my free newsletter because my opt-in form wasn’t working properly.)

Now this was way back … when hearing the words “You got mail!” was exciting. (I got mail! Yay!)

Today, it’s a serious challenge to persuade people to even give you their email address much less buy something from you. And “You got mail!”? People are now excited when they manage to whittle down their inbox to below 100 emails.

Back then, email was new. Free newsletters were new. Therefore, it was a lot easier to see results.

And, in some cases, we’re talking pretty dramatic results.

In the early days of the Internet, it wasn’t uncommon for early adopters to get some insane results without doing a lot of work. And it wasn’t necessarily because what they offered was so incredible, or even that their marketing was so great.

It was because what they did was new.

And the power of new broke through the clutter.

So then, the attraction of “easy” kicked in. Early adopters made more money teaching their “easy” system to the next wave of entrepreneurs, who eagerly lapped it up. (After all, there are very few things we humans love better than something being “easy.”)

Of course, the fresh, shiny sheen of “new” eventually wears off, turning it “old” and “familiar.” “Old” and “familiar” is not nearly as sexy as “new.” They don’t attract nearly the attention, which means it doesn’t work nearly as well. Even worse, “new” becomes “old” even faster when more people use it.

Which means the early adopters need to find a different “new.” And the cycle starts all over again.

Until, eventually, we reach the predictable end.

Internet Marketing itself is no longer all that “new” or “easy.”

(And, all those tricks that came with it? Yeah, those are “old, familiar, and busted,” too.)

You see, the problem with “new” and “easy,” at least as it relates to Internet Marketing, is that it circumvents two key components of growing a successful business—work and patience.

And a lot of people get addicted to “new” and “easy” and forgot about the “time” and “work” part.

So, when “new” and “easy” stop getting results, there is panic.

Then what do we do?

Is the world as we know it over? Do we all need to get j-o-b-s?

Well, before you start trying to remember what a resume even looks like, let’s see what the next prediction is.

2. BUT it IS sort of “business as usual.”

Wait. I’m confused too. Wasn’t the first prediction that it’s no longer business as usual?

Yes, IF you’re building your business on a foundation of “new” and “easy.” While “new” and “easy” will always provide a shot in the arm, it’s not sustainable.

If you want a solid, dependable, profitable, successful business, then maybe it’s time to go back to solid, dependable, profitable, successful business practices.

What are those?

It’s simple—solve a problem that’s keeping your ideal clients up at night, and offer it to them at a fair price (fair to both of you—you need to make a living, and your ideal clients need to feel like they didn’t overpay for what was delivered).

How do you do that? Focus on three main principles:

* Attracting new prospects

* Turning those prospects into clients

* Taking great care of those clients

That’s really it.

Business really isn’t complicated. I know it can seem like it is (especially when you’re stuck in the cycle of “new” because you’re constantly having the chase the next “new” thing), but it truly doesn’t have to be. (And that includes enjoying sustained business success.)

So, how do you do all of that?

Well, let’s jump into prediction three.

3. Relationships are the new currency.

(Relationships were actually the old currency, too, but let’s not split hairs.)

People want to do business with people. People have ALWAYS wanted to do business with people. People WILL always want to do business with people.

So, how did we end up with so many empty, “personality” brand businesses that have little connection to their clients?

Simple. We forgot (blame the frenzy of “new” and “easy” coupled with how easy the internet makes it for us to hide behind our computer).

So how do you do that?

First, let your ideal prospects and clients and customers FEEL you. Hear your voice. Get to know your personality quirks. Maybe even show your vulnerability.

And, don’t ever forget about prediction four.

4. Quality never goes out of style.

There were many things we forgot when we were trapped in the “new” and “easy” cycle, including making sure we actually created a great product or service.

One of the principles of “new” was “speed.” Think about it—the people who benefit the most from “new” are the early adopters. The faster you can get something “new” out there, the better your results.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with speed. In fact, there are times when moving swiftly makes good business sense.

But, “speed” can quickly turn into “sloppy.” And, in the quest to make things happen faster, “sloppy” somehow became more acceptable. “Just launch it and fix it later” became the new motto (or, even worse, “launch it first and create it later”).

Again, there’s wisdom in “launching first and creating later.” For one thing, you won’t spend weeks or months creating something no one wants to buy. You’ll know you have a market.

But, the problem is when people buy, they’re expecting the product. So, you have no choice but to create it fast. And, that leads to “sloppy.”

What’s the alternative?

Ask your prospects and clients what they want (and if you have a good relationship with them, they’ll tell you). Test something small—maybe a small product or a free piece of content—and see what the results are. Keep an eye on what seems to be working (and not working) in your marketplace, so you can stay ahead of the trends.

And that leads us to prediction five.

5. Be nimble.

I can hear you now: “Wait. Didn’t you just say “speed” was the first step on a slippery road to ‘sloppy’?”

“Speed,” yes. But, just because you’re nimble doesn’t necessarily mean you’re moving fast with EVERY part of your business.

For me, being nimble means you’re in a position to see what’s out there and respond quickly to it.

For instance, remember MySpace? No? I’m not surprised. I barely remember it either.

Years ago, before Facebook became the ten-foot-tall gorilla, there was MySpace.

For awhile, MySpace was the hot social networking platform to be on. One of my friends even successfully sold a little product on how to make money on MySpace.

And then Facebook took off.

Enough said.

So, the point of this is you DO need to keep an eye open to what’s working and what’s not working. Just because Facebook is where your clients are today doesn’t mean that’s where they’ll be tomorrow.

(BUT, if you’ve created a connection with your ideal prospects, they’ll likely also follow you to the new platform.)

And, if you want to stay nimble, check out number six.

6. Keep an eye on your statistics.

I know, I know. Numbers aren’t sexy.

BUT, they’re one of the best ways to keep a finger on the pulse with not only what’s going on in your industry, but in your business. And they’re the best way to keep you on the path to sustained business success.

Here’s the thing: There’s no question that right now a lot of entrepreneurs are floundering because the strategies they used to used to both grow their business and enjoy business success aren’t working the way they used to.

BUT, let’s not forget there are also entrepreneurs out there who had their best year ever in 2017.

Just because something isn’t working in the rest of your industry doesn’t mean it will affect you. (Keep in mind, the reverse is true too—just because something is working for EVERYONE doesn’t mean you’ll have success with it.)

That’s why keeping an eye on your specific numbers and looking for trends is important.

What numbers should you watch? Anything you want to grow. Some ideas include:

* Email subscribers

* Opens/clicks on your email list

* How many of your prospects buy

* How many visitors to your website

* Specific numbers for any marketing strategy you’re doing (i.e. blog visitors, podcast downloads, YouTube watches, etc.)

And, to brig it all home, prediction seven.

7. It’s never too soon to panic (aka someone, somewhere will panic this year).

Just as people are attracted to “new” and “easy,” they’re also attracted to “panic.”

It’s important to remember, panicking is a choice. Yes, I know, when the bottom falls out, it’s easy to slip into panic.

And, it’s important to feel those feelings—so if that’s what you’re feeling, then feel it and let it move through you.

Just don’t let it control your actions or decisions.

Nothing good happens when you run your business from a state of panic. And, you especially need to make decisions from your inner wisdom and/or God (or your higher power) if the bottom HAS dropped out. (In other words, when it’s most important that you don’t panic, you’re most likely to feel panic.) (Yes, I agree, it sucks.)

So, feel it, and THEN take action.

ESPECIALLY since there’s actually a lot of opportunity and a lot hope to be found out there.

In fact, let me end on a high note:

I made the claim that Internet Marketing itself is no longer “new” and “easy,” but has moved to “old” and “familiar.”

However, that doesn’t mean Internet Marketing doesn’t work. Quite the opposite. Internet Marketing ABSOLUTELY works—BUT only if you use it correctly.

Relying on novelty of “new” to break through the clutter is a stressful, losing proposition. But, using an old and familiar tool to give people what they really want (i.e. a solid relationship, a high-quality product, etc.) is absolutely a winning strategy.

Even better, it’s also key to building your business on a solid foundation of business success.

If you want more help, you may want to dig into my Love-Based Business series is a great place to get started. Check out all the books here (especially my “Love-Based Online Marketing” book—you can get it here.)

3 Simple Steps to Set Business Goals That FINALLY Come True

3 Simple Steps to Set Business Goals That FINALLY Come True

It’s practically an epidemic; every year, people toss their unaccomplished business goals from the previous year in the garbage, and gear up to set new ones on January 1.

And every year, no matter how fresh and shiny the new business goals are, there’s always little to no progress made toward them.

Why?

Well, to start, if you don’t do things differently, how can you expect different results?

Today, I’m sharing three steps to goal setting, so 2018 really can be YOUR year. (And if you want to know 3 common pitfalls that likely contributed to last year’s goals ending up in the trash, this post has got you covered.)

But first, a quick explanation of what I consider a key differentiation when we’re talking about goals:

If you have goals that haunt you, yet no matter what you do, you’re not able to make progress on them, they may be what I call “love-based goals,” which are whispers from your soul (and yes, these are very different than other goals).

(Combine that with the fact that owning a business is one of the top personal development tools out there, in many cases, you may discover your business goals are also love-based goals.)

Your soul wants you to evolve into the person you’re meant to be, so to help you do that, it whispers to you, planting the seeds of goals you would love to turn into reality. (Think of it as the reward for evolving into the person you’re meant to be.)

But, as you need to actually become a different person for these goals to come true, you’ll likely discover your subconscious throwing up blocks and your ego resisting.

That’s why we so often fall short when it comes to turning our goals into reality, especially our business goals. We’re not prepared for the blocks and resistance that are triggered when we try and move forward toward those business goals.

But, if we know to expect that to happen, we can be better prepared to succeed when challenges and issues come up. And, to help you get prepared, here are three steps you can take to break through and start bringing your business goals to life.

Step 1. Identify your love-based goals.

Remember, these are the goals that are whispers from your soul and are designed to help you evolve into the person you’re meant to be. A good way to get started identifying your love-based goals is to imagine a perfect day in your life. (Not a perfect vacation day, but a perfect business day.) What precisely are you doing during this perfect day?  Write it down, and be as descriptive and detailed as possible. In that description are clues that will help you identify your love-based goals.

Step 2. Identify precisely what is blocking you.

The deeper I explore goal setting, the more I see that goal setting is really another self-development tool.

Chances are, at the same time you’re thinking about your love-based goals, you’re also thinking about all the reasons you can’t possibly take action toward them. I suggest writing all those down, too, along with any fears that come up. If you find yourself writing a lack of time and/or money, dig deeper. That’s your ego talking. What’s underneath that block?

If it’s a money block, ask yourself this: “If money wasn’t an object, would I be working toward these goals right now?” And, if the answer is “Yes,” is there a way you can get started with the budget you’re on right now?

If it’s a time block, are you able to carve out 15 minutes a day to work on your goal? And before you think “Oh, I can’t possibly do anything in only 15 minutes a day”—that actually isn’t true. I wrote three nonfiction books AND my novel in two years, using the only 15-minute a day approach. I highly encourage you to at least try it, and see how much you get done in 15 minutes.

And if it WAS possible, what could you give up to free up that time? Would you be willing to wake up 15 minutes earlier? Spend 15 minutes during your lunch?

If you’re still resisting, pay attention to your excuses. The real fear is likely buried somewhere in there.

Step 3. Be prepared for your blocks to come up and have a plan in place for dealing with them.

This is a big one.

As I mentioned, you WILL have blocks and resistance show up as you work on your love-based goals. So, know this and be prepared.

There are a lot of tools that can help you overcome the blocks and resistance—meditation, journaling, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping) are some of the top. Depending on how deep the block, you may want to look into some coaching to help you work through it.

In addition, be prepared for a lot of different uncomfortable emotions to surface as you work toward your goals. You may feel anger or resentment that you’ve wasted so much time. You may feel fear that you’ll fail and lose everything. You may even feel grief, which likely doesn’t even make sense to you.

Here’s the key: If you simply feel those feelings, rather than bury them or run away from them or decide you shouldn’t be working them, those feelings will move through you. Eventually, if they do, they won’t trigger you anymore.

I’m not going to say it’s easy, because if it was, your goals would have already come true. But, it IS doable.

And, if you want to learn more about love-based goals, check out my new book “Love-Based Goals: A Guide to Living Your Purpose and Passion” available at Amazon and other major online bookstores.

[Video] The Story Behind the Story: “Love-Based Goals” book

[Video] The Story Behind the Story: “Love-Based Goals” book

I’ll start with the elephant in the room–why is a copywriting and marketing expert writing a book about goals (much less love-based goals)?

There’s no question I’ve built a business helping entrepreneurs and business owners just like you market their businesses using love-based copy. In fact, I’ve helped sell nearly $50M worth of products and services over the past 8 years using love-based copy and marketing.

When I first got the download for the love-based copy philosophy, I had no idea where it would lead. But the more I dug into it, the more I began to realize how EVERY PART of our lives can be built either on a foundation of love or a foundation of fear.

From our business to our relationships to our families, our health, our government — every aspect of our life can either be rooted in love or fear.

And it’s up to us to make the choice.

We can choose to use either love or fear to market and sell our products and services, to build our businesses and live our lives.

And, yes, this even extends to our goals.

Goals have a very special place in my heart. When I was 3, I taught myself to read because I wanted to write books so badly. Novels specifically.

So, when I started my copy and marketing business, my intention was to build a business that would also allow me to write my books.

The years went by and somehow, despite my best intentions, my books weren’t being written. Neither fiction nor nonfiction.

What was going on?

I was convinced I had an organizational problem, so I threw myself into a bunch of different planners and organizational systems.

Didn’t work.

Then, I thought maybe I needed to solve it through personal development work. So, I journaled and meditated and worked on my blocks.

I still wasn’t writing my books.

It wasn’t until after my mother died, that the dam burst and it finally became clear what was going on.

You see, I believe there are certain goals, I call them love-based goals, that are actually whispers from your soul.

For you to have these goals come true — YOU need to be evolve into the person your soul is nudging you to become.

Once you do, all the money and business and personal success will start to fall into place.

But, before that happens, YOU need to become a different person.

And, that’s where my book ” Love-Based Goals: Your Guide to Living Your Purpose and Passion” can help.

I share a few more details about the book in the video below:

It’s available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes and all other major online retailers. And once you grab your copy, you’ll be on your way to finally bringing your goals to live and living your dreams.

3 Common Pitfalls that Will Keep You From Reaching Your Goals

3 Common Pitfalls that Will Keep You From Reaching Your Goals

A famous study of Harvard graduates revealed that students who write down and review their goals are far more likely to actually attain them.

So, if it’s really that simple, why AREN’T we writing down our goals? Aren’t our goals worth doing everything in our power to make them come true?

Why is it then that we tend to celebrate the end of every year by tossing last year’s goals in the trash, and promising ourselves next year WILL be different?

Well, all due respect to the Harvard study, but I don’t think it went far enough. You see, I think there’s a deeper reason your goals haven’t come true (three of them, actually).

After all, if it was REALLY that simple—if all we had to do was write down our goals and review them every day to attain them—wouldn’t more people be doing it?

There is something deeper going on that’s keeping us from taking that simple action. And, when you understand what’s really stopping you from reaching your goals, you can then make the necessary changes that will help you do so in the future.

Let’s dig in:

1. Your identity doesn’t match your goals.

In “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living the Good Life,” Mark Manson explains how, if you want to become a writer, but you never actually sit down to write, your identity may be someone who wants to write but never actually gets anything done.

When you really think about it, this makes sense. One of the functions of the ego is to protect your core identity, because if that goes, then who are you anyway? It’s scary to lose your identity.

So, your ego is going to fight tooth and nail to keep your identity intact, even if it’s an identity you don’t particularly care for (i.e. a “wanna-be” author or entrepreneur).

And I think there’s a deeper level to this, too.

I think there are certain goals—I call them “Love-Based Goals,” that, if you want them to come true, require you to be different. They’re whispers from your soul, and they help you transform into the person your soul knows you can be.

When you become the person your soul is nudging you to be, those goals will fall into place.

But if your identity doesn’t match your goals, you’re stuck. If, for example, you’ve been saying something like, “Someday, I’m going to open my business/write that book/quit my soul-sucking job,” your identity may be stuck on some sort of future version of yourself that never comes true.

Because if it came true, you would lose your current identity, as you know it. (Paradoxical, I know. But, there are many things in our life that don’t make any sense and yet somehow, they control us, so keep an open mind.) Your ego doesn’t want to lose its current identity, so it creates a resistance to the transformation of it. Which leads me to the second pitfall that may be keeping your goals from coming true …

 2. You have a fear, a mindset block, “resistance,” or something else that’s stopping you.

(Remember, this can also be directly tied to #1—you’re blocked around your goal, and over time, your identity gradually changes to a “wanna be.”) This can show up in your life in many ways, but some common indications that this is what’s going on with you never seem to have enough time to work on your goals, or you can’t focus on them, or you experience constant procrastination when it comes to sitting down to actually work on them.

If you’re really struggling when it comes to taking action toward your dreams, you may also have some sort of fear lurking underneath the procrastination (and that fear can be totally subconscious). For instance, you may have a fear of success or a fear of failure (which clearly would impact the success of any endeavor your take on). You may have a fear of visibility or being seen, which translates to you not marketing your business enough, which results in the failure of your business. You may have a fear that your spouse or partner will leave you if you become too successful. Maybe you can’t bear the idea of making more money than your parents.

All of these are examples of what can happen when your subconscious (which is 95% of your brain) is not on board with what your conscious mind (or the other 5%) wants to do.

(Note: this one is so important, I’m going to talk more about it in future posts.)

3. The goals aren’t yours.

In some ways, this is the easiest of the three pitfalls to handle, but it may also be more deflating than the others, because you may have to come to grips with the fact that you’ve wasted a chunk of your life on goals that aren’t even yours.

If you’re facing this one, one of two things is likely going on: the goals are someone else’s, or you’re not willing to do the work.

Someone else’s goals: Maybe you grew up with a father who thought you’d make an awesome doctor, or a mother who assumed you would take over the family business. Maybe they never even asked you what you wanted to do—it was always just “understood.”

Or maybe you grew up believing part of being an adult meant you needed to get a responsible, boring job. Or maybe you felt a lot of shame around your body because it wasn’t “thin” enough, and you’re forever trying to lose weight that just refuses to come off.

All of these are examples of internalizing someone else’s goals, whether that someone else is a specific person (such as a parent), or society/media, etc.

Either way, the goals are not yours. They’re goals you likely feel you “should” be doing, but they aren’t yours.

Not willing to do the work: The other version of this pitfall comes to light when you have goals that you think are super awesome, but not quite awesome enough to actually do the work to reach them. For instance, who wouldn’t love an extra million or two in their bank account? But are you willing to do the work it requires to get that money there?

Lots of little girls dream of being a professional ballerina (including me). But, the first time I laced up actual pointe shoes and stood on my toes … let’s just say my interest waned after that.

If you’re not willing to do the work, the goals aren’t yours. (And, to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with that. We have only so much time on this planet—there’s no shame in not spending hours and hours on goals that aren’t yours.)

So, now you are aware of the common pitfalls that could be keeping you from accomplishing your goals.

And, if you want to take it a step further and bring your love-based goals to life, check out this simple, three-step system to help you get started.

And, if you want more on this topic, check out my new “Love-Based Goals: Your Guide to Your Purpose and Passion” book, available at most online retailers here.

5 Tips to Avoid Burnout by Infusing Your Business with Feminine Energy

5 Tips to Avoid Burnout by Infusing Your Business with Feminine Energy

When you’re an entrepreneur, it’s so easy to get sucked into working all of the time and ignoring your feminine side until you hit burnout (or worse).

But, there are gifts feminine energy can bring to your business that can make you a more successful entrepreneur.

For instance, while traditional business models are rooted in goals and action and competition, feminine business models focus on creativity and empathy and receiving. (And yes, that includes receiving money!)

In order to avoid burnout and to enjoy the fruits of your hard work, you actually do need both masculine and feminine energy in your business.

Chances are, you’ve already got the masculine energy. In most cases, entrepreneurs start with goals and plans.

But, when you infuse your business with feminine energy, your ideas align with your purpose and you attract more of your ideal clients, you avoid burnout, you get clear on what your goals really are, and you receive all the rewards you deserve.

So. How do you begin bringing feminine energy into your business?

Here are five tips to get you started:

Tip 1. Stop and breathe.

Masculine energy is about moving forward toward your goals, preferably as quickly as possible. I’ve heard the phrase, “Money loves speed,” countless times—but I believe that it’s not healthy or smart to spend all your time in that fast energy. You’ll burn out. So every once in a while, take some time to just breathe. Check in with yourself and evaluate whether you’re going in the direction you want to.

Tip 2. Don’t push or force. Stay present and continually ask, “What’s needed now?”

If you feel like you Must. Make. Something. Happen. Now … through sheer force of will, then you’re not in the feminine. In fact, too much pushing and forcing is one of the leading causes of burnout. Instead of pushing, or doing the things you believe you “should” do, take a moment to revisit Tip One: Stop and breathe.

Which leads me to the next tip!

Tip 3. Listen to your inner wisdom, intuition, or guidance.

Many successful entrepreneurs know that trusting your gut is an important strength.

The truth is, though, that in many cases, we don’t hear it or trust it. That’s why it’s critical to take time to breathe, stop pushing, and really listen.

Over time, as you practice this skill, you’ll learn how to hear, trust, and act on what your inner voice is saying.

Tip 4. Strengthen your trust muscles.

This one can be tough! Trust that everything is going to work out, and that you will be supported even if you don’t get the results you wanted or expected. If you don’t trust that you’ll be taken care of and supported, then you’re prone to pushing or forcing things to happen. If you struggle with this one, here’s a …

Bonus Tip. Get a love line in place.

Find someone who can support and hold space for you when you start worrying that you won’t be taken care of (for example, that you won’t enroll the number of people you want to enroll in a program, or sell as many books as you’d like to). Your love line should be able to offer perspective, to help you reevaluate the situation from a place of trust.

Another way to look at this is to be committed to your results without being attached to how those results actually appear. For instance, maybe you don’t enroll as many people in your program that you wanted, but you end up with a couple of VIP clients that end up actually being more profitable than if you had simply filled your program. A love line can help remind you that things don’t always unfold the way we think they ought to unfold — but if we relax and trust, they may turn out better than we expected.

Tip 5. Learn to receive.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a conscious, heart-centered, spiritual entrepreneur. Which means you probably love giving. You feel comfortable giving.

But as we all know, sometimes it’s important to step outside your comfort zone.

In this case, it’s critical to receive. If we can’t receive, how can we receive in our business? Think about all the ways in which you must receive if your business is to be successful (and by “successful,” I mean, if it is to help you make that impact you’re so passionate about): you must receive new clients, new opportunities.

Of course, I’m also talking about receiving money and sales, too.

If this one sounds like a struggle, I completely understand. It was a struggle for me, too. It took me some time, and I started with baby steps—learning to accept simple compliments was the first one—and now I’m starting to see the results in my life and my business in terms of my ability to receive.

Since I began the journey of infusing my own business with feminine energy, I’ve experienced a huge decrease in overwhelm and stress—and I’ve also begun seeing better business results. I hope that if you begin infusing your business with feminine energy, you experience the same.

Meanwhile, if this topic resonated with you, you may be interested in my book, Love-Based Money and Mindset: Make the Money You Desire Without Selling Your Soul. It’s available at most online retailers, and you can get your own copy here.

4 Reasons Why It’s Critical to Infuse Masculine Business Models with Feminine Energy

4 Reasons Why It’s Critical to Infuse Masculine Business Models with Feminine Energy

As an entrepreneur/change agent, chances are you’ve set goals. Even if you’re a spiritual entrepreneur who believes in using feminine energy in other areas of your life, it’s likely in your business, you crave a more masculine approach and structure.

You’ve probably created some sort of plan for reaching your goals, and you believe you must take action (often, even hard-charging action) to achieve them.

If you’ve taken any business courses or read articles about growing your business, then you’ve seen it:

The masculine business model.

You see, traditionally, business models are rooted in masculine energy: they’re all about moving forward toward a goal, preferably as quickly as possible. Masculine energy contains, among others, the qualities of analytic thinking, competition, logic, and action.

It’s no wonder, then, that conventional business strategy emphasizes winning at all costs, and often focuses on numbers and measurable results: The Bottom Line.

Revenue plans, launch calendars, profit margins, action, action, action … you get the idea.

And all of those are important, of course, since you’re running a business and obviously, you have bills to pay.

The problem with this business model is that it can lead to burnout and overwhelm. If you’re constantly in overdrive, pushing for bigger results, faster, then it’s likely you’re stressed out much of the time. And even if your numbers look great, you don’t feel great. It’s difficult to enjoy the fruits of your labor if you’re exhausted.

So what’s an entrepreneur to do?

Bring in the feminine.

Feminine energy is creative energy. It’s where you receive from. And it’s essential to enjoying your business.

It contains, among others, the qualities of intuition, compassion, emotion, creativity, empathy.

Masculine energy is where external structures come from, and feminine energy is where all the internal structures are built.

And in business, you need both: you need that structure and those plans. And you also need the space to create and receive.

You may be thinking, “This makes sense, Michele, but WHY?”

So here are four reasons why it’s important to infuse your masculine business model with feminine energy:

Reason 1. A balanced business model helps you grow your business. When your masculine business model serves as a structure for your feminine energy to create and receive, your ideas align with your spirit and purpose, and therefore, attract more of your ideal clients.

Reason 2. You avoid burnout. As I mentioned above, masculine energy is all about action! And action is important. But consistent action without breaks can lead to burnout. When you bring in feminine energy, you give yourself the time and space to create, to practice self-care strategies, and to nourish your soul—so you can receive the fruits of all that action.

Reason 3. You get clear on what your goals really are, and therefore, make more efficient use of your resources. Entrepreneurs with a tendency to get stuck in the masculine business model may go “full-steam ahead” without taking the time to feel into what their goals are, and whether those goals are ones they truly want to accomplish. Feminine energy is about intuition, and when you give yourself time and space to really hear your intuition, you can get clear on which goals are really important to you—before you rush headlong into achieving them.

Reason 4. You can receive all that you work so hard for. Look, for many of us—especially conscious, spiritual, or heart-centered entrepreneurs—receiving is hard. We’re much more comfortable in the space of giving. Here’s the thing: if you’re always in that space of giving and pushing, giving and pushing, you’re not taking the time or making the space to receive. Which means you’re not able to enjoy the abundance you’re working so hard to generate.

So now you know why it’s important to infuse your masculine business model with feminine energy, you probably want to know how to do so — this post gives you 5 tips to help get you started.

Meanwhile, if this topic resonated with you, you may be interested in my book, Love-Based Money and Mindset: Make the Money You Desire Without Selling Your Soul. It’s available at most online retailers, and you can get your own copy here, now.

 

Stuck? 3 Tips to Bust Though and Have a Business Breakthrough

Stuck? 3 Tips to Bust Though and Have a Business Breakthrough

As an entrepreneur, or more specifically, a spiritual entrepreneur or change agent, you may have experienced hitting the dreaded business plateau, (and then wondering what on earth you need to do to have a business breakthrough).

The business plateau occurs when you’re making progress in your business — you’ve achieved some level of success, and you’re focused on continuing your upward momentum.

And then, it hits you.

Or, rather, you hit it: a roadblock … also known as a plateau.

You’ve undoubtedly heard of this before. Plateaus occur in many areas of life: weight loss, exercise (like weight lifting or speed in running, swimming, or biking), or in productivity levels.

So it’s only natural that they occur in business, too.

There’s one thing all plateaus have in common: they’re frustrating!

As you probably realize by now, I’m a big believer in the impact your mindset has on your ability to create results.

So what I’m about to say will come as no surprise: breaking through a business plateau will happen ONLY when your mindset has laid a strong foundation for doing so.

With that being said, here are three tips for making a mindset shift that leads to a business breakthrough:

Tip 1. Determine whether you’re actually ready to experience a business breakthrough … to get off the plateau, and take things to the next level.

If you’ve hit an external roadblock or plateau, for example, you can’t seem to push beyond a certain number of clients or income level, then chances are, you’ve hit an inner block, too.

An inner block is like a psychological wall that stops you from taking the action that will move you past a certain point.

It may be fear-related: fear of success, fear of failure, fear of not having enough, fear of getting out there and being seen, etc. Or it may be a belief or set of beliefs related to your feelings about success: for instance, successful people are jerks, rich people are arrogant.

Even if you’ve been successful up to this point, as you stretch your limits and set new goals for yourself, new blocks will come up.

So how do you know if you’re experiencing a block?

If you haven’t done any self-development work, you probably do have a block or two. We all do—many of us have experiences as children or even young adults that instill these fears or belief systems deep within us.

Here’s a quick and easy exercise for exploring your own plateau-causing fears and belief systems:

Grab a pen and a piece of paper, and draw a line down the middle, forming two columns. In the first column, write down all the reasons you want to break through the plateau. In the second, write down all the reasons you don’t want to break through or all the ways those blocks are serving you. (Yes, some stuff will come to the surface for that second column if you take this exercise seriously!)

The items you write down in the second column will give you an idea as to which fears or belief systems you need to work through to move past this plateau.

Take some time to think about the emotions associated with the items in the second column.

Next, start moving the energy out of these emotions.

I’m going to share one powerful exercise for doing so here, and you can read about several more in my book, Love-Based Money and Mindset: Make the Money You Desire Without Selling Your Soul.

Breathing is one of the most powerful exercises for releasing fear-based emotions. Yes, I used to roll my eyes at the “stop and breathe” advice, but now it’s become my go-to tool for getting past fear in many different situations.

The trick: you must feel your feelings.

When uncomfortable thoughts come up, just stop.

Rather than going with your first reaction and changing the subject, mentally, or calling a friend to talk about these feelings, stop everything.

Close your eyes and breathe into the feelings associated with the thoughts.

Maybe you feel emotions in your gut, like I do. Or maybe you feel them in your chest. Focus on that area and breathe into it. This takes practice! But I promise it will help you move past the blocks that are stopping you from reaching that next level.

Tip 2. Determine what you need to do to grow.

You’ve undoubtedly heard this analogy before, and that’s because it’s a good one. If you were planning to leave your house and drive to another city in another state—somewhere you’d never been—you’d need to get directions, right?

These days, most of us just type our destination’s address into our smartphone and hit “Get Directions.”

Then an app, like Google Maps, for example, gives us turn-by-turn directions.

Now let’s apply this analogy to your business.

If you’ve hit a plateau, then your desired destination if you want to have a business breakthrough is the Next Level, right? Well, do you know what you need to do to get to the Next Level? Which turns you need to make?

In our analogy, the “directions” would be the specific business strategies you’d use. “Turn left” may equate to, “Launch a new product.”

So how does this tie into mindset?

It’s all about preparation and planning. If you are attempting to reach a goal without a plan, then you’re not in the right mental space to get there. It’s like setting out for a destination to which you’ve never been without getting directions first.

Here’s an exercise you can use to figure out what you need to do to have a business breakthrough:

First, determine what the “Next Level” means to you.

Does it mean earning a certain amount of income? Does it mean landing a certain number of clients, or working a certain number of days each week or month?

Once you’re clear on that, consider the strategies that will get you there.

For example, if your goal is to get more clients, you may need a new lead generation system. If your goal is to earn more money and have more free time, creating a home study program may be a good avenue for reaching that goal.

Then, create a written plan with daily, weekly, monthly, and even yearly steps for reaching your goal.

Tip 3. Stick with it. Push yourself just a bit further, past that tipping point.

If you feel like you’re on the brink of something big, then you just might be!

You may not be experiencing a mental block … you may be just one final push from having that business breakthrough and reaching the Next Level.

If you know you’re doing what you need to do, and you haven’t yet broken through your plateau, then don’t give up!

This advice may be a bit frustrating, because as a goal-driven entrepreneur, you likely feel like if you could just take action, just push this through, you could get there.

And this is where mindset comes in: when you’re taking all the right actions, and you have all the right pieces in place, then sometimes you just have to open yourself to receive.

So, are you ready to break through a plateau?

Follow the advice above, and you’ll be on the right track.

If this topic resonated with you, you may be interested in my book, Love-Based Money and Mindset: Make the Money You Desire Without Selling Your Soul. It’s available at most online retailers, and you can get your own copy here.