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[Video] Flip It! I’m Spiritual so I Should Never Have Bad Feelings

[Video] Flip It! I’m Spiritual so I Should Never Have Bad Feelings

If you’re a part of a spiritual community, including the entrepreneurial spiritual community, it’s not uncommon to hear things like:

• Sending love and light.

• I only focus on love, I don’t want to put any energy on anything negative.

• Don’t call anything a failure, you should rephrase that into something more positive.

• You don’t have to do things that scare you to transform, rephrase that into doing things that excites you.

• There’s so much negativity in the world, let’s just talk about the positive.

You get the picture.

This happens so frequently, it actually has a name. It’s called a spiritual bypass.

You’re spiritual! That means you shouldn’t be feeling any “bad” emotions. You only feel love and light and only focus on the positive.

So, let’s talk about this. It sounds good, doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to focus just on the good and not on the negative? And, if you’ve studied Law of Attraction, you learn that whatever you focus on expands so of course you want to focus on the good versus the negative.

But, as usual, things are rarely what they seem.

Believe it or not, your fear-based emotions, like grief, anger, fear, exist to help you. Fear is there to because there are times in your life that fear is an appropriate emotion — you seeing a shadow at the end of a dark alley — yes, your fear showing up and telling you to get out of there is a good thing. Anger is a reaction when your boundaries have been violated. Guilt helps us live in a community. And grief lets us know we loved. It’s our badge for loving deeply. And if you allow yourself to go there and fully feel grief and let it move through you, the gifts you’ll receive can change your life.

But, those emotions uncomfortable, so in many cases we don’t want to feel them. Instead we do all sorts of things to keep ourselves from feeling them — we drink, overeat, gossip, fight, shop, post inappropriate things on social media, distract ourselves by being “too busy,” etc.

The problem is, ignoring our emotions or burying them or running away from them doesn’t mean they go away. Nope. Feelings just want to be felt.  They stick around and bother you until you feel them. Once you do, then (and only then) will they go away.

And, when you don’t feel them, they build up. Which is why we’ve lost a lot of the benefit those feelings can give us — they’re so built up and so desperately want to be felt they start coming out at inappropriate ways. So, we can’t trust them or trust what they’re trying to tell us.

The good news is all is not lost. We can get back to the place where we can use our fear-based emotions to guide us — all we have to do is start pausing and allowing them to be felt and move through us, no matter how crazy they seem in the moment. And eventually we’ll be able to start trusting them again.

Watch below for more on what you can do to start trusting your emotions.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.

3 Tips to Getting Rid of Mind Chatter and Mental Noise, So You Can Finally Have Peace of Mind

3 Tips to Getting Rid of Mind Chatter and Mental Noise, So You Can Finally Have Peace of Mind

It happens to the best of us: mind chatter, mental noise, mental chatter … whatever name you give it, you’ve undoubtedly experienced it.

Maybe it happens just before you fall asleep at night, and you just can’t turn off your mind. You’re running through your to-do list for tomorrow, or going over and over a conversation you had with a client.

Maybe you’re so busy worrying over a looming deadline or a big project that you can’t actually get anything done! Anxiety sets in, and you’re stuck.

Whatever it is, you know this: you want it – that incessant mind chatter – to stop!

All you want is peace of mind, right?

The bad news here is that mind chatter happens. As entrepreneurs, we’re busy. We’re busy with work, family obligations, and the normal day-to-day life “stuff” that has to get done. There’s a lot to think about, a lot to worry about … and huge potential for mental noise.

You see, your mind chatter, or mental noise, is actually a sneaky version of your inner critic (or, as my friends Amy Ahlers and Christine Arylo call it, your Inner Mean Girl). It is there, looming in the dark, waiting for the right moment to step out of the shadows and show its scary face.

It doesn’t come right out and talk about your shortcomings; rather, it hints at them, making snide comments like:

  • “There’s no way you can get that all done tomorrow.”
  • “You’re probably going to forget something really important.”
  • “You really messed up that conversation with that client.”
  • “You know that project you’re working on? The client’s going to hate it, if you get it done at all.”

The good news is that you CAN put the kibosh on your inner critic. You can stop mind chatter in its tracks, and give yourself the peace of mind you so desperately want.

In other words, your peace of mind doesn’t have to be determined by your inner critic.

Today, I’m sharing three tips to stop mind chatter whenever it rears its ugly head. I’ll start with a quick, short-term fix, and move on to longer-term – and possibly even permanent – solutions.

Tip One: Flip Those Negative Thoughts into Positive Self-Talk.

When mind chatter shows up, quickly flip it around and replace the thought with self-soothing, positive self-talk that contradicts the negative chatter.

You wake up in the middle of the night, and immediately, your to-do list for tomorrow pops into your mind. It’s a doozy, and with the meetings and tasks you’ve scheduled, you’re not sure you can get everything done. But you also have this sense that you have to.

Before this mental chatter runs off with your peace of mind, stop it in its tracks. Some people say, aloud, “Stop!” or “Cancel,” and some people use these words silently. The key is to create a mental break in the pattern of mind chatter.

Then, turn those statements around into positive self-talk or affirmations (try saying them out loud, too!):

  • “I can do this. I WILL do this. I’ve got this.”
  • “I am calm.”
  • “I am capable.”
  • “I am checking these items off my to-do list so quickly!”
  • “I can solve any problem.”

As I mentioned above, this is a short-term solution. It will stop mind chatter in the moment, but it doesn’t necessarily address the underlying cause of the mental noise.

So let’s talk about another tip that’s designed to help you remove the fear from the situation.

Tip Two: Play out the Scenario until It Reaches a Silly Conclusion.

This exercise is one I shared in my book, Love-Based Online Marketing. It comes from my friend Therese Skelly, who’s an expert at identifying your core message and releasing the blocks that keep you from success, so you can make the difference you’re here to make.

When your inner critic steps in, it’s often in the form of fear. Back to that middle-of-the-night to-do list: it’s keeping you awake because you’re afraid of not getting it done. What does that really boil down to? Maybe it’s a fear of failure or a fear of letting someone down.

So once you’ve identified the specific fear related to your mental noise or mind chatter, ask yourself a series of questions about what that will look like.

Let’s walk through an example with the assumption that you’re afraid that you’ll let your significant other down if you don’t get to the store so you can buy food to cook dinner tomorrow.

Q: What are you afraid is going to happen if you don’t make it to the grocery store?

A: My wife will be disappointed in me.

Q: So, what’s the worst that will happen if she’s disappointed in you?

A: It means that I’ve let her down.

Q: So what is the worst that can happen if she feels like you let her down?

A: Then she won’t love me anymore.

Q: And what’s the worst that will happen if she doesn’t love you anymore?

A: Then we’ll have to get a divorce.

Q: And what is the worst that will happen if you get a divorce?

A: I’ll be alone and miserable for the rest of my life.

You see how this goes. You can keep going and going until you reach a conclusion … all because you ran out of time to get to the grocery store.

Here’s the thing: we know this isn’t going to happen. Your spouse won’t divorce you because you ran out of time to get to the grocery store.

For some people, the sheer act of going through this exercise allows them to see how baseless their fear is, which allows them to start moving past it.

This is an immediate and long-term solution. Not only does it stop the mind chatter while it’s happening, but it also helps you identify the root cause of your mind chatter and move past the fear. It can apply to any situation where fear shows up!

Tip Three: Stop the Story in Your Head and Breathe into the Emotions.

When you fall victim to mind chatter, you can quickly nip it in the bud if you stop the story in your head (you may want to use actual words here, like, “Stop,” or, “Cancel,” like I recommended in the first tip) and just feel the emotions you’re feeling.

This exercise helps break the emotional connection of the mind chatter.

For example, if you’re experiencing fear of letting your spouse down, or fear of failure, taking a moment to breathe into that fear can actually help you move past it.

Your fear may stem from some past trauma or other pent-up negative emotions you haven’t yet dealt with. But once you feel into, and breathe into, those emotions, you can begin to resolve them.

At first, mind chatter may continue to pop up when you face an event that triggers that old trauma or emotion, but over time, as you continue to feel and breathe into that emotion, it’s possible that the mind chatter will fade away.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to be a victim to mind chatter.

If you’re tired of falling victim to your mind chatter, I’d love for you to try some of these tips. And let me know how they work for you in the comments below!

And if you’d like more help breaking the mind chatter, my Love-Based Money and Mindset book may be perfect for you. You can check it out and grab your copy here.

[Video] The Story Behind the Story — “Love-Based Copywriting Method”

[Video] The Story Behind the Story — “Love-Based Copywriting Method”

“Love-Based Copywriting Method” is the book that started the Love-Based Business movement.

Before I wrote this book, entrepreneurs didn’t have much of a choice on how they wanted to market themselves with their promotional copy (copywriting is writing marketing materials, nothing to do with putting a copyright on something or protecting intellectual property).

They could either choose to use traditional direct response copy and marketing (an example of direct response copy is those long sales letters that you scroll down forever wondering how much it is and does anyone actually read these or those emails asking you to click on a link) which meant in many cases they were using marketing tactics that felt hype-y, sales-y or inauthentic.

Or, they could choose not use direct response copy and marketing.

Of course, the problem with NOT using it is then you haven’t leveraged your marketing. When you use direct response copy, you are marketing one-to-many. Without it, you’re stuck marketing one-to-one. As you can imagine, it’s tough to grow your business that way.

But, then, in 2014, my friend Susan Liddy came out with a book called “Love-Based Marketing.” I looked at that title and thought “Love-Based Copy.” What’s the opposite of love-based copy? Well, it would be fear-based copy.

And that’s when the whole philosophy downloaded into me.

But, I’m getting a little ahead of myself — check out the whole story behind the story of “Love-Based Copywriting Method” below:

If you’re looking for a way to sell more with love, this book is the place to start. It explains the philosophy behind love-based copy so you can build your marketing and business on a solid foundation of love.

“Love-Based Copywriting Method” is available at all the major online retailers — check it out here.

6 Signs You’re Attracting Money in a Fear-Based Way – and How to Attract It in a Love-Based Way (That Feels GOOD!), Instead

6 Signs You’re Attracting Money in a Fear-Based Way – and How to Attract It in a Love-Based Way (That Feels GOOD!), Instead

In my last blog post, What Does “Love-Based Money” Actually Mean? (And Will This New Way of Thinking Really Help You Attract More Money?), I explained the difference between love-based money and fear-based money and how you can use the love-based/fear-based concept to attract money.

Today, I want to dig into this a little deeper.

How do you actually know if you’re attracting money in a fear-based way? And if you are, how can you turn that around so you’re attracting money in a love-based way?

Here are six signs you’re attracting money in a fear-based way:

  1. You’re landing the wrong clients. The clients you’re closing are not a good fit for you. You likely don’t enjoy working with them and even dread getting on the phone with them. They’re never happy, which means you’re not happy, either. You spend 80% of your time on these clients, but make only 20% of your money from them (in other words, they’re high maintenance). These are the clients who ask for refunds (even after you’ve spent hours trying to make them happy), or give you bad reviews when they’re talking to their friends and colleagues.
  2. Your business has “issues.” Whether it’s issues with your team, your system, your technology or your vendors, you’re constantly fighting fires rather than doing what you love most.
  3. Your mental and physical health suffer. You are anxious and exhausted. You lack energy and focus. Your stress carries over into other aspects of your life, preventing you from truly enjoying anything.
  4. You’re working too hard and making less than you want. You’re always on the hamster wheel, trying to land the next client and sell the next project so you can get ahead … only, you never do, because you’re always behind.
  5. You feel like you’re always forcing things to happen. A big percentage of your tasks feel like emergencies. You keep thinking that if you can just work harder, try harder, push harder, then one day you’ll have “made it” and can relax. (Which of course never happens.)
  6. The more money you make, the worse you feel. I know, it sounds almost impossible, right? But when you bring in money with fear, your problems mount and your fear-based emotions grow. Now, along with worrying about not having enough, you also start worrying about losing what you have.

If you’re reading this and realizing that you are, in fact, bringing in money with fear, then you’re probably wondering what you can do to start bringing in money with love.

I’ve got you covered.

When you build your business—and attract money—in a love-based way, you’ll find that things just seem to flow … and you can enjoy the world of entrepreneurship without anxiety, stress, overwhelm, or anger.

Here are four steps you can take, starting now, to begin attracting money in a way that feels effortless:

1. Shift your perspective around fear-based emotions. I use a two-step process for breaking the hold your fear-based emotions have on you.

Step 1: Consider your fear-based emotions a guide. If you’re feeling worry or anxiety or fear or anger or resentment, check in with yourself. Do you need to course-correct? Or are you afraid because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. This is an important first step to stopping fear-based emotions from controlling you.

Step 2: Start moving the energy of your fear-based emotions, by really feeling and integrating them. Feel your emotions, breathe into them, and confront them head-on with rational thoughts.

2. Shift your mindset into love and abundance. Create a daily practice designed to help you start each day in a love-based emotion. I recommend meditating, gratitude practices, affirmations, journaling, exercise, prayer, visualization exercises, or a combination of the above. A daily practice changed my life, and I’m confident that it can change yours.

3. Change your beliefs. You may have limiting beliefs—like, “I don’t deserve to make a lot of money,” or, “I’m not smart enough to run a business,” or, “No one will buy what I’m selling.” These limiting beliefs may be really obvious and make a big impact on your life, or they may be hidden, but the bottom line is that they stop you from reaching your goals. If you can identify the stories that stem from these beliefs, you can begin to move past them. For example, you may believe that if you leave a job you hate, your family will be disappointed and you’ll let everyone down. So, you stay in the job you hate, but you’re so stressed that your relationships with your family members deteriorate anyway. But when you recognize that story for what it is – a story built on the fear that you’ll let your family down – you can take action despite it.

4. Listen to your intuition. The more you listen to your intuition, the less you’ll be controlled by your inner critics, and the easier it will be to move yourself toward the life of your dreams.

And finally, for my BIG BONUS TIP:

Keep in mind that how your desire manifests itself may not always look how you think it ought to look, or how you expected it to. Remain committed to your desire but not attached to how it actually unfolds.

Here’s a great example: one of my colleagues launched a product last year and it went terribly! The launch was a disaster. (You can listen to the full story here.) But rather than force things—by immediately running out and planning an emergency launch and a million emails to try to salvage it—she relaxed. And guess what? The money came in different ways. So she still manifested her desire—to reach the people she wanted to reach and make a certain amount of money—but it didn’t look exactly the same as she’d expected it to.

If you like (and resonate with) this approach, you might want to check out my book “Love-Based Money and Mindset,” in which I share specific action steps on how you can shift your relationship with money, so you start to easily and effortlessly attract it. Learn more here.

What Does “Love-Based Money” Actually Mean? (And Will This New Way of Thinking Really Help You Attract More Money?)

What Does “Love-Based Money” Actually Mean? (And Will This New Way of Thinking Really Help You Attract More Money?)

In order to help us attract money along with understanding what love-based money actually means, it would probably help to understand the difference between love-based versus fear-based (this post explains it).

Once you understand that difference, the next step is to dig in and explain how the love-based/fear-based concept relates to money.

To start, without a doubt, the thought of money can throw us into our fear-based emotions faster than we can say “fear”!

Every time we get stressed around money — maybe an unexpected bill pops up, or we lose a client, or suffer another financial setback — the first thing many of us do is dive straight into fear-mode, spinning around, desperately trying to figure out a solution.

(Or, we sink into depression — collapsing on the couch and binge watching “Game of Thrones” with a carton of Rocky Road ice cream. Or, we alternate between the two modes — spinning around frantically trying to bring in money with periods of depression and procrastination.)

The problem is, when we’re trying to drum up money when we’re lost in a fog of fear, we’re essentially building our relationship with money right smack on a foundation of fear.

And then, it becomes a vicious cycle:

We’re full of worry or fear or anxiety, and we start trying to create money in that mindset. And while we might succeed in bringing money in, initially, it doesn’t make the fear-based emotions go away.

If anything, it actually amplifies them. (Think about it: you worry about money, you bring some in, you worry about where it needs to go/how it will be spent, you worry about losing it, you worry it’s not enough, and you worry about how you’ll get more.)

However, if you can instead bring in money from a place of love, not only will it be easier to attract in the first place (and very likely lead to abundance), but it also won’t be tainted with the energy of fear (a low-vibration emotion that inhibits your ability to attract money and abundance).

And this is what love-based money is really about …

(AND, it lets us feel peaceful and good as we bring it into our lives.)

If you like (and resonate with) this approach, you might want to check out my book “Love-Based Money and Mindset,” in which I share specific action steps on how you can shift your relationship with money, so you start to easily and effortlessly attract it. Learn more here.

[Video] The Story Behind the Story — Why I Wrote “Love-Based Money and Mindset”

[Video] The Story Behind the Story — Why I Wrote “Love-Based Money and Mindset”

It’s one thing to say you want to build a business on a foundation of love versus fear — it’s quite another to actually do it. That’s one of the reasons why I wrote “Love-Based Money and Mindset: Make the Money You Desire Without Selling Your Soul.”

After I wrote my first love-based book “Love-Based Copywriting Method,” I began to realize just how crucial your mindset is if you truly want to build a love-based business.

In fact, I’d go as far as to say that …

If you’re personally feeling a lot of fear-based emotions (which include shame, guilt, grief, worry and anger), it’s going to be really difficult to market yourself in a love-based way, much less build a love-based business.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, if your business isn’t making much money, staying in a love-based, abundance mindset is even more difficult. (Of course, the great cosmic joke is the more your mindset remains in fear and scarcity, the more you attract fear and scarcity.)

So, what do you do? How can you shift your mindset into love and abundance precisely when you’re at your most vulnerable?

I’m not going to say it’s easy, but it’s certainly doable. And that’s where my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book can help.

Watch below:

I too struggled with money during my entrepreneurial journey — for years, my business was trapped in dreadful feast and famine cycle that was horribly stressful. Along with sharing tips and strategies around developing a love-based mindset and attracting money in a love-based way, part of why I wrote “Love-Based Money and Mindset” was to share my personal journey in hopes it helps others not make the same mistakes I did.

You can check it out right here:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

iTunes

Kobo

 

 

What’s the Difference Between Being Love-Based and Fear-Based?

What’s the Difference Between Being Love-Based and Fear-Based?

It’s fear vs love. Believe it or not, the opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s fear. All emotions basically fall under one of two categories — love-based emotions of fear-based. love-based-copy-4a

Love-based emotions includes love, hope, joy, gratitude, peace, faith, trust, confidence, happiness, connection, forgiveness, openness, passion, freedom, harmony, honesty, beauty, compassion, self-love, self-appreciation, respect, acceptance, understanding, etc.

Fear-based emotions include fear, anger, grief, shame, guilt, bitterness, judgment, jealously, frustration, doubt, insecurity, etc.

A lot of what we consider traditional business is built on a foundation of fear vs love (actually a lot of traditional things are built on fear). The reason this happens is because in a lot of ways, fear is easier. Many, many folks live their lives being controlled in some way by fear-based emotions.

Either consciously — they’re angry, depressed, grieving, judgmental, fearful, worrying, unhappy, etc., or unconsciously — they feel an uncomfortable emotion, they run away from it, bury it, hide from it, etc. (Think about all the things that happen when someone gets upset — they start a fight, take a drink, overeat, go shopping, gossip, etc.) So, if fear-based emotions are controlling your behavior, it’s going to be very difficult to build anything love-based.

Now, just to be clear, love-based doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear-based emotions — on the contrary, people who have embraced love-based businesses and lives in fact DO fully feel all emotions, whether love-based or fear-based.

And there is definitely a place for fear-based emotions in our human existence, so rather than fight them, the key is to really feel them, and let them move through you. (Feelings just want to be felt after all.)

And, because folks who have embraced the love-based way do feel fear-based emotions, it also means they aren’t controlled by them. It’s when you try not to feel the fear-based emotions are when they control you.

Now, when you are selling, or attempting to persuade someone to do something, this really comes into play, because in order to persuade anyone to do anything — it doesn’t matter what it is (get your kids to go to bed at their bedtime, convince someone to go on a date with you, sell someone your product or service) — you absolutely need to tap into their emotions. Hence, you end up tapping into fear vs love.

Traditional direct response copy taps into fear-based emotions (which include fear/worry, shame, guilt, anger), which is why it feels so icky. But you don’t have to tap into fear-based emotions to sell — you CAN sell with love, by tapping into love-based emotions.

If you’d like to learn more about how you can sell with love rather than fear, I’d like to invite you to check out my love-based business books, especially my two “Love-Based Copywriting” books. You can learn more right here.