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Tag: fear-based emotions

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

Has this ever happened to you?

You have a big goal. Maybe you want to start a business or grow a business. Maybe you want to hit a certain income goal. Or maybe you’re finally ready to start writing your book.

So, you start taking action toward that goals.

But … something funny happens.

All these fears start coming up. What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I spend all of my time working? What if my partner leaves me? What if my kids start to hate me?

Maybe you stop being able to sleep because of all of these worries.

Or, maybe you’re angry all of the time.

Or, maybe you waste hours and hours stewing about how everyone else seems to be further on their journey than you.

So, you find yourself procrastinating or losing focus. Or, maybe you simply can never find the time to work on them.

You’re busy, right? There’s always something more important or urgent to work on.

Right?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many, many people are unable to take even the smallest action towards their goals and dreams.

They have lots of reasons why. Some of those reasons are even pretty good. They don’t have the time or the money or they’re too old or it’s just not the right time. They can pursue their dreams when the kids go back to school or once their mom isn’t sick anymore or after they retire.

But, here’s the thing. Whatever you telling yourself right now, ISN’T what’s actually stopping you.

I’m not saying that reason isn’t true. I’m saying it’s NOT what’s stopping you.

I don’t care how busy you are, if you’re serious about your dreams, you can find 15 minutes a day to work on them. (And, trust me, you can do a lot in 15 minutes. I wrote 3 books in only 15 minutes day.)

So, if it’s not your excuses, then what’s stopping you?

Simple. Your fear-based emotions.

You see, all emotions fall under either love or fear. Fear-based emotions include fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, grief.

For most of us, we don’t want to feel our fear-based emotions (for obvious reasons). But, just because we don’t want to feel them doesn’t mean they don’t want to be felt.

It also doesn’t mean they won’t keep chasing you until you actually take the time you feel them.

But, there’s good news. Once you feel them, they move on.

(Yes, it really can be that simple. No, it’s not easy to feel your fear-based emotions, but it IS simple. All it requires is you pause, breathe and feel. Not react. Not DO anything about those emotions. Just be with them.)

So, if you see yourself here, I’d love to encourage you to try something different. The next time you’re taking action on your goals and some fear-based emotion starts to raise its ugly head (whether it be worry or resentment or anger or grief or shame or guilt or something else) rather than DO something about that emotion (including make up a story around why its happening) just STOP.

Stop, breathe and feel.

Then, once it’s moved through you, go back to working on your goals.

You may be amazed at the magic you create in your life or business.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! I’m Spiritual so I Should Never Have Bad Feelings

[Video] Flip It! I’m Spiritual so I Should Never Have Bad Feelings

If you’re a part of a spiritual community, including the entrepreneurial spiritual community, it’s not uncommon to hear things like:

• Sending love and light.

• I only focus on love, I don’t want to put any energy on anything negative.

• Don’t call anything a failure, you should rephrase that into something more positive.

• You don’t have to do things that scare you to transform, rephrase that into doing things that excites you.

• There’s so much negativity in the world, let’s just talk about the positive.

You get the picture.

This happens so frequently, it actually has a name. It’s called a spiritual bypass.

You’re spiritual! That means you shouldn’t be feeling any “bad” emotions. You only feel love and light and only focus on the positive.

So, let’s talk about this. It sounds good, doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to focus just on the good and not on the negative? And, if you’ve studied Law of Attraction, you learn that whatever you focus on expands so of course you want to focus on the good versus the negative.

But, as usual, things are rarely what they seem.

Believe it or not, your fear-based emotions, like grief, anger, fear, exist to help you. Fear is there to because there are times in your life that fear is an appropriate emotion — you seeing a shadow at the end of a dark alley — yes, your fear showing up and telling you to get out of there is a good thing. Anger is a reaction when your boundaries have been violated. Guilt helps us live in a community. And grief lets us know we loved. It’s our badge for loving deeply. And if you allow yourself to go there and fully feel grief and let it move through you, the gifts you’ll receive can change your life.

But, those emotions uncomfortable, so in many cases we don’t want to feel them. Instead we do all sorts of things to keep ourselves from feeling them — we drink, overeat, gossip, fight, shop, post inappropriate things on social media, distract ourselves by being “too busy,” etc.

The problem is, ignoring our emotions or burying them or running away from them doesn’t mean they go away. Nope. Feelings just want to be felt.  They stick around and bother you until you feel them. Once you do, then (and only then) will they go away.

And, when you don’t feel them, they build up. Which is why we’ve lost a lot of the benefit those feelings can give us — they’re so built up and so desperately want to be felt they start coming out at inappropriate ways. So, we can’t trust them or trust what they’re trying to tell us.

The good news is all is not lost. We can get back to the place where we can use our fear-based emotions to guide us — all we have to do is start pausing and allowing them to be felt and move through us, no matter how crazy they seem in the moment. And eventually we’ll be able to start trusting them again.

Watch below for more on what you can do to start trusting your emotions.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.