Browsed by
Tag: follow your dreams

[Video] Flip It! Do You Break Commitments to Yourself?

[Video] Flip It! Do You Break Commitments to Yourself?

During the years when I was building my copywriting and marketing company, I almost never broke a commitment I made to another person, whether that person was a partner or client.

Now, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t renegotiate commitments, I absolutely did that. But, one of my core values is integrity, and over the years I spent a lot of time and energy to live my life and run my business from a place of integrity.

I may not have always succeeded and I most definitely made mistakes, but I always did the best I could in the moment.

EXCEPT when it came to commitments to myself.

Those, I broke. A lot.

My commitment to my own writing and books? Dead last on the list. Even commitments to marketing my business or creating other income streams were close to the bottom of my to-do list.

At the time, I called it “giving myself a break.” Typically, how it would play out is I would get a big client project or a lot of client work would walk in the door, and I would start to feel super overwhelmed and anxious about everything I had to do. So, I would “give myself a break” by moving or cancelling my own projects.

I always told myself once this “crazy” period was over, I would pick up where I left off. And of course, I rarely did, except for select marketing activities.

What I was really doing was giving myself permission to break commitments to myself.

Now, how this ended up playing out for me is I kept doing it until one day something deep inside me started to revolt. About the same time my mother got sick with cancer, so I had both external and internal pressures to change. That combination finally did it.

So, let’s talk about you. How are you showing up for your dreams and goals? Are you sitting down each day to honor them, even if that means writing a book you’re not sure anyone will ever read or writing blog posts for a blog no one is visiting or marketing a business that’s doesn’t seem to get any traction?

It’s tough. I know. I’ve been there. But, here’s the truth. The more you let yourself off the hook or give yourself a break and not show up for yourself and your dreams and goals, the more you’re going to throttle your success.

While it’s true I built a pretty successful business breaking commitments to myself, I was also often stressed, overwhelmed and consumed with worry. I burned out multiple times building that company.

Now that I’ve made commitments to myself as non-negotiable as the commitments I make to other people, everything has shifted. I’m a lot less stressed and a lot less overwhelmed, even though I’m actually getting more work done every day. I’m also a lot happier and a lot more at peace.

And the best part?  I’m starting to see a lot more traction and momentum in my business, more than I experienced before.

If you’re feeling stuck and trapped in a cycle where nothing you’re doing is working, I’d love to encourage you to take a moment and see where you’re showing up for yourself and where you’re breaking commitments to yourself. You may also want to check out an earlier Flip It episode titled “A Simple Marketing Exercise that Could Transform Your Business” and see what happens when you do that exercise.

One of the reasons why it’s so easy to break commitments to yourself is because it’s not public. Only you really knows what you did.

But, shouldn’t your relationship to yourself be the most important one in your life?

I can tell you from experience, the more you show up for yourself, the more you’ll get everything you want.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

It may not be your fault you haven’t accomplished your big dream.

The problem may be who you believe you are.

Let me explain. You may have heard the famous saying, often attributed to Henry Ford, Whether You Believe You Can Do a Thing or Not, You Are Right.

I would take that a step further and say who you BELIEVE you are, determines what you can do or can’t do.

For instance, do you say make these sorts of statements to yourself?

“I’m no good at math.” “I’m a great cook.” “I’ll never be successful.” “I’ve never been lucky.”

Take a good look at those statements. What’s one thing they all have common?

They all start with a to be verb — a version of I am.

Take a moment to let that sink in. How many times a day do you say you ARE something, whether it’s a good thing like I’m a great cook or a negative thing like I’m horrible at math?

Either way, you’re defining your accomplishments by who you believe you are.

If you believe you’ll be successful at what you set out to do, then you’ll be successful.

If you believe your parents were right and you’ll never amount to anything, you’ll never amount to anything.

But, there’s even a deeper level.

Let’s say you’ve always had a dream of owning your own business, but you’ve never taken any action toward that dream. It may be because you see yourself as a wanna be business owner rather than an actual business owner.

Or, maybe you’ve always dreamed of being a published author, but you’ve never been able to find the time to write. You may see yourself as a wanna be author.

Mark Manson in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life talks about if you somehow never seem to make any strives toward your goals, you may see yourself as someone who is forever wanting to accomplish the goal but never actually does it.

For myself, what I call love-based goals are goals that are actually whispers from your soul. These are goals that for them to come true, YOU need to transform yourself into the person your soul is calling you to be.

Simple, right? But, how do you do it? How do you change who you believe you are so you can accomplish your goals and dreams?

Start by simply observing what your inner voice or inner critic, is saying to you. You may even want to write down what that inner voice is blathering on and on about so you can really analyze it.

Chances are, you’ll find your inner voice saying some sort of version of I am, such as: I’ll never be successful or someday I’ll write my book.

So, the first thing to do is to change what you’re saying to yourself, so say I am successful or I am writing my book.

Now, if you’re not successful or you’re not writing your book, your brain is going to call BS. That’s okay. What I’m aiming for here is to see what emotions start to come up for you. Is it fear? Grief? Resentment? Anger? A combination of emotions? Something else?

I don’t want you to do anything except pause and breathe and feel those emotions.

Those emotions are what’s standing in your way of changing who you are so you can accomplish your big dream.

And, once those emotions aren’t clouding up your judgement, it will be much easier for you to see a path toward making your goals come true.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book and my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.