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[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

[Video] Flip It! Why Aren’t My Goals Coming True?

Has this ever happened to you?

You have a big goal. Maybe you want to start a business or grow a business. Maybe you want to hit a certain income goal. Or maybe you’re finally ready to start writing your book.

So, you start taking action toward that goals.

But … something funny happens.

All these fears start coming up. What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I spend all of my time working? What if my partner leaves me? What if my kids start to hate me?

Maybe you stop being able to sleep because of all of these worries.

Or, maybe you’re angry all of the time.

Or, maybe you waste hours and hours stewing about how everyone else seems to be further on their journey than you.

So, you find yourself procrastinating or losing focus. Or, maybe you simply can never find the time to work on them.

You’re busy, right? There’s always something more important or urgent to work on.

Right?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many, many people are unable to take even the smallest action towards their goals and dreams.

They have lots of reasons why. Some of those reasons are even pretty good. They don’t have the time or the money or they’re too old or it’s just not the right time. They can pursue their dreams when the kids go back to school or once their mom isn’t sick anymore or after they retire.

But, here’s the thing. Whatever you telling yourself right now, ISN’T what’s actually stopping you.

I’m not saying that reason isn’t true. I’m saying it’s NOT what’s stopping you.

I don’t care how busy you are, if you’re serious about your dreams, you can find 15 minutes a day to work on them. (And, trust me, you can do a lot in 15 minutes. I wrote 3 books in only 15 minutes day.)

So, if it’s not your excuses, then what’s stopping you?

Simple. Your fear-based emotions.

You see, all emotions fall under either love or fear. Fear-based emotions include fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, grief.

For most of us, we don’t want to feel our fear-based emotions (for obvious reasons). But, just because we don’t want to feel them doesn’t mean they don’t want to be felt.

It also doesn’t mean they won’t keep chasing you until you actually take the time you feel them.

But, there’s good news. Once you feel them, they move on.

(Yes, it really can be that simple. No, it’s not easy to feel your fear-based emotions, but it IS simple. All it requires is you pause, breathe and feel. Not react. Not DO anything about those emotions. Just be with them.)

So, if you see yourself here, I’d love to encourage you to try something different. The next time you’re taking action on your goals and some fear-based emotion starts to raise its ugly head (whether it be worry or resentment or anger or grief or shame or guilt or something else) rather than DO something about that emotion (including make up a story around why its happening) just STOP.

Stop, breathe and feel.

Then, once it’s moved through you, go back to working on your goals.

You may be amazed at the magic you create in your life or business.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

[Video] Flip It! Are New Year Rituals a Waste of Time?

[Video] Flip It! Are New Year Rituals a Waste of Time?

The first time I heard about New Year rituals (actually it was more of a year-end ritual because it took place over Winter Solstice) I was intrigued.

But I also felt like it would be a waste of time.

Could rituals, any ritual, but especially New Year rituals, help me make my goals come true?

Well, as I had been spinning my wheels for years and never getting any traction or momentum around my goals, I thought I’d give it a shot.

And, I’ve been hooked ever since.

Part of the reason why I’m hooked is because what I did before was so … unsatisfying. Maybe you can relate?

I would spend that quiet time between Christmas and New Years feeling like a loser for everything I didn’t accomplish the year before. I would then take a break from beating myself up to create a long laundry list of new goals for the upcoming year. I would then move to feeling overwhelmed over everything I wanted to accomplish over the next twelve months.

Clearly, this wasn’t an ideal way to begin the new year. And, needless to say, all my good intentions would have disappeared by the end of January and my days yet again would be determined by everyone else’s priorities.

This all started to shift when I began using New Year Rituals.

My friend and spiritual mentor Christine Arylo taught me this ritual, which would take place during Winter Solstice.  It’s a natural time to pause, reflect and close the circle on the previous year as it’s when nature shifts and instead of our days growing darker, they grow lighter.

In a nutshell, we would take a moment to celebrate all that went right, process everything that went wrong and choose the lessons you want to take into the New Year.

So, why do you want to do all of that?

For precisely that reason — because we so often DON’T.

How many times do we rush right past a big win because we’ve got so many other things on our to-do lists? How many time do we bury our failures, maybe even refusing to call it a failure but give it some other name to try and keep ourselves from feeling bad about it?

If we don’t take the time to celebrate our successes, it’s like they didn’t even happen. Just like if we don’t take the time to feel the emotions of the failures, we’re dooming ourselves to keep repeating those failures until we feel the feelings and learn the lessons.

If you’ve ever wondered why one year seems to be exactly like the next, despite all your best intentions otherwise, this could be one of the reasons. You never took the time to pause, reflect and properly close the energy of the past year.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book — you can check it out here.

7 Hot Predictions for Business Success in 2018

7 Hot Predictions for Business Success in 2018

Along with creating new goals and resolutions, it’s also that time of year to dust off the crystal ball (aka an angel snow globe in my case) and make some predictions for the New Year, especially around the hot topic of business success.

And, I’m not going to sugar coat it; 2017 was a little rough, and it could get rougher.

BUT, as always, there is opportunity as well, just as long as you’re open to what it looks like (in other words, it may not be dressed the way it was before OR the way you’d prefer it to be—but more on that in a bit).

Without further ado, let’s see what 2018 has in store for us.

1. It’s no longer “business as usual.”

One thing that became VERY clear in 2017 is how fast marketing strategies can simply cease to work, especially in the coaching/transformation industry. What used to work, isn’t (or, at least, it’s not working the way it used to).

Needless to say, this took some folks by surprise (while creating a lot of panic).

So, what happened?

I think it’s the part of the end of a cycle of two basic human drives (or two things we’re hardwired to be attracted to):

* The attraction of “new”

* And the attraction of “easy”

I’ll explain.

You may not know this, but there was a time (really!) where all you had to do was post a little opt-in box on your website with the words “Free Newsletter!” and people would sign up. (I actually once had someone email me wanting to get my free newsletter because my opt-in form wasn’t working properly.)

Now this was way back … when hearing the words “You got mail!” was exciting. (I got mail! Yay!)

Today, it’s a serious challenge to persuade people to even give you their email address much less buy something from you. And “You got mail!”? People are now excited when they manage to whittle down their inbox to below 100 emails.

Back then, email was new. Free newsletters were new. Therefore, it was a lot easier to see results.

And, in some cases, we’re talking pretty dramatic results.

In the early days of the Internet, it wasn’t uncommon for early adopters to get some insane results without doing a lot of work. And it wasn’t necessarily because what they offered was so incredible, or even that their marketing was so great.

It was because what they did was new.

And the power of new broke through the clutter.

So then, the attraction of “easy” kicked in. Early adopters made more money teaching their “easy” system to the next wave of entrepreneurs, who eagerly lapped it up. (After all, there are very few things we humans love better than something being “easy.”)

Of course, the fresh, shiny sheen of “new” eventually wears off, turning it “old” and “familiar.” “Old” and “familiar” is not nearly as sexy as “new.” They don’t attract nearly the attention, which means it doesn’t work nearly as well. Even worse, “new” becomes “old” even faster when more people use it.

Which means the early adopters need to find a different “new.” And the cycle starts all over again.

Until, eventually, we reach the predictable end.

Internet Marketing itself is no longer all that “new” or “easy.”

(And, all those tricks that came with it? Yeah, those are “old, familiar, and busted,” too.)

You see, the problem with “new” and “easy,” at least as it relates to Internet Marketing, is that it circumvents two key components of growing a successful business—work and patience.

And a lot of people get addicted to “new” and “easy” and forgot about the “time” and “work” part.

So, when “new” and “easy” stop getting results, there is panic.

Then what do we do?

Is the world as we know it over? Do we all need to get j-o-b-s?

Well, before you start trying to remember what a resume even looks like, let’s see what the next prediction is.

2. BUT it IS sort of “business as usual.”

Wait. I’m confused too. Wasn’t the first prediction that it’s no longer business as usual?

Yes, IF you’re building your business on a foundation of “new” and “easy.” While “new” and “easy” will always provide a shot in the arm, it’s not sustainable.

If you want a solid, dependable, profitable, successful business, then maybe it’s time to go back to solid, dependable, profitable, successful business practices.

What are those?

It’s simple—solve a problem that’s keeping your ideal clients up at night, and offer it to them at a fair price (fair to both of you—you need to make a living, and your ideal clients need to feel like they didn’t overpay for what was delivered).

How do you do that? Focus on three main principles:

* Attracting new prospects

* Turning those prospects into clients

* Taking great care of those clients

That’s really it.

Business really isn’t complicated. I know it can seem like it is (especially when you’re stuck in the cycle of “new” because you’re constantly having the chase the next “new” thing), but it truly doesn’t have to be. (And that includes enjoying sustained business success.)

So, how do you do all of that?

Well, let’s jump into prediction three.

3. Relationships are the new currency.

(Relationships were actually the old currency, too, but let’s not split hairs.)

People want to do business with people. People have ALWAYS wanted to do business with people. People WILL always want to do business with people.

So, how did we end up with so many empty, “personality” brand businesses that have little connection to their clients?

Simple. We forgot (blame the frenzy of “new” and “easy” coupled with how easy the internet makes it for us to hide behind our computer).

So how do you do that?

First, let your ideal prospects and clients and customers FEEL you. Hear your voice. Get to know your personality quirks. Maybe even show your vulnerability.

And, don’t ever forget about prediction four.

4. Quality never goes out of style.

There were many things we forgot when we were trapped in the “new” and “easy” cycle, including making sure we actually created a great product or service.

One of the principles of “new” was “speed.” Think about it—the people who benefit the most from “new” are the early adopters. The faster you can get something “new” out there, the better your results.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with speed. In fact, there are times when moving swiftly makes good business sense.

But, “speed” can quickly turn into “sloppy.” And, in the quest to make things happen faster, “sloppy” somehow became more acceptable. “Just launch it and fix it later” became the new motto (or, even worse, “launch it first and create it later”).

Again, there’s wisdom in “launching first and creating later.” For one thing, you won’t spend weeks or months creating something no one wants to buy. You’ll know you have a market.

But, the problem is when people buy, they’re expecting the product. So, you have no choice but to create it fast. And, that leads to “sloppy.”

What’s the alternative?

Ask your prospects and clients what they want (and if you have a good relationship with them, they’ll tell you). Test something small—maybe a small product or a free piece of content—and see what the results are. Keep an eye on what seems to be working (and not working) in your marketplace, so you can stay ahead of the trends.

And that leads us to prediction five.

5. Be nimble.

I can hear you now: “Wait. Didn’t you just say “speed” was the first step on a slippery road to ‘sloppy’?”

“Speed,” yes. But, just because you’re nimble doesn’t necessarily mean you’re moving fast with EVERY part of your business.

For me, being nimble means you’re in a position to see what’s out there and respond quickly to it.

For instance, remember MySpace? No? I’m not surprised. I barely remember it either.

Years ago, before Facebook became the ten-foot-tall gorilla, there was MySpace.

For awhile, MySpace was the hot social networking platform to be on. One of my friends even successfully sold a little product on how to make money on MySpace.

And then Facebook took off.

Enough said.

So, the point of this is you DO need to keep an eye open to what’s working and what’s not working. Just because Facebook is where your clients are today doesn’t mean that’s where they’ll be tomorrow.

(BUT, if you’ve created a connection with your ideal prospects, they’ll likely also follow you to the new platform.)

And, if you want to stay nimble, check out number six.

6. Keep an eye on your statistics.

I know, I know. Numbers aren’t sexy.

BUT, they’re one of the best ways to keep a finger on the pulse with not only what’s going on in your industry, but in your business. And they’re the best way to keep you on the path to sustained business success.

Here’s the thing: There’s no question that right now a lot of entrepreneurs are floundering because the strategies they used to used to both grow their business and enjoy business success aren’t working the way they used to.

BUT, let’s not forget there are also entrepreneurs out there who had their best year ever in 2017.

Just because something isn’t working in the rest of your industry doesn’t mean it will affect you. (Keep in mind, the reverse is true too—just because something is working for EVERYONE doesn’t mean you’ll have success with it.)

That’s why keeping an eye on your specific numbers and looking for trends is important.

What numbers should you watch? Anything you want to grow. Some ideas include:

* Email subscribers

* Opens/clicks on your email list

* How many of your prospects buy

* How many visitors to your website

* Specific numbers for any marketing strategy you’re doing (i.e. blog visitors, podcast downloads, YouTube watches, etc.)

And, to brig it all home, prediction seven.

7. It’s never too soon to panic (aka someone, somewhere will panic this year).

Just as people are attracted to “new” and “easy,” they’re also attracted to “panic.”

It’s important to remember, panicking is a choice. Yes, I know, when the bottom falls out, it’s easy to slip into panic.

And, it’s important to feel those feelings—so if that’s what you’re feeling, then feel it and let it move through you.

Just don’t let it control your actions or decisions.

Nothing good happens when you run your business from a state of panic. And, you especially need to make decisions from your inner wisdom and/or God (or your higher power) if the bottom HAS dropped out. (In other words, when it’s most important that you don’t panic, you’re most likely to feel panic.) (Yes, I agree, it sucks.)

So, feel it, and THEN take action.

ESPECIALLY since there’s actually a lot of opportunity and a lot hope to be found out there.

In fact, let me end on a high note:

I made the claim that Internet Marketing itself is no longer “new” and “easy,” but has moved to “old” and “familiar.”

However, that doesn’t mean Internet Marketing doesn’t work. Quite the opposite. Internet Marketing ABSOLUTELY works—BUT only if you use it correctly.

Relying on novelty of “new” to break through the clutter is a stressful, losing proposition. But, using an old and familiar tool to give people what they really want (i.e. a solid relationship, a high-quality product, etc.) is absolutely a winning strategy.

Even better, it’s also key to building your business on a solid foundation of business success.

If you want more help, you may want to dig into my Love-Based Business series is a great place to get started. Check out all the books here (especially my “Love-Based Online Marketing” book—you can get it here.)

3 Simple Steps to Set Business Goals That FINALLY Come True

3 Simple Steps to Set Business Goals That FINALLY Come True

It’s practically an epidemic; every year, people toss their unaccomplished business goals from the previous year in the garbage, and gear up to set new ones on January 1.

And every year, no matter how fresh and shiny the new business goals are, there’s always little to no progress made toward them.

Why?

Well, to start, if you don’t do things differently, how can you expect different results?

Today, I’m sharing three steps to goal setting, so 2018 really can be YOUR year. (And if you want to know 3 common pitfalls that likely contributed to last year’s goals ending up in the trash, this post has got you covered.)

But first, a quick explanation of what I consider a key differentiation when we’re talking about goals:

If you have goals that haunt you, yet no matter what you do, you’re not able to make progress on them, they may be what I call “love-based goals,” which are whispers from your soul (and yes, these are very different than other goals).

(Combine that with the fact that owning a business is one of the top personal development tools out there, in many cases, you may discover your business goals are also love-based goals.)

Your soul wants you to evolve into the person you’re meant to be, so to help you do that, it whispers to you, planting the seeds of goals you would love to turn into reality. (Think of it as the reward for evolving into the person you’re meant to be.)

But, as you need to actually become a different person for these goals to come true, you’ll likely discover your subconscious throwing up blocks and your ego resisting.

That’s why we so often fall short when it comes to turning our goals into reality, especially our business goals. We’re not prepared for the blocks and resistance that are triggered when we try and move forward toward those business goals.

But, if we know to expect that to happen, we can be better prepared to succeed when challenges and issues come up. And, to help you get prepared, here are three steps you can take to break through and start bringing your business goals to life.

Step 1. Identify your love-based goals.

Remember, these are the goals that are whispers from your soul and are designed to help you evolve into the person you’re meant to be. A good way to get started identifying your love-based goals is to imagine a perfect day in your life. (Not a perfect vacation day, but a perfect business day.) What precisely are you doing during this perfect day?  Write it down, and be as descriptive and detailed as possible. In that description are clues that will help you identify your love-based goals.

Step 2. Identify precisely what is blocking you.

The deeper I explore goal setting, the more I see that goal setting is really another self-development tool.

Chances are, at the same time you’re thinking about your love-based goals, you’re also thinking about all the reasons you can’t possibly take action toward them. I suggest writing all those down, too, along with any fears that come up. If you find yourself writing a lack of time and/or money, dig deeper. That’s your ego talking. What’s underneath that block?

If it’s a money block, ask yourself this: “If money wasn’t an object, would I be working toward these goals right now?” And, if the answer is “Yes,” is there a way you can get started with the budget you’re on right now?

If it’s a time block, are you able to carve out 15 minutes a day to work on your goal? And before you think “Oh, I can’t possibly do anything in only 15 minutes a day”—that actually isn’t true. I wrote three nonfiction books AND my novel in two years, using the only 15-minute a day approach. I highly encourage you to at least try it, and see how much you get done in 15 minutes.

And if it WAS possible, what could you give up to free up that time? Would you be willing to wake up 15 minutes earlier? Spend 15 minutes during your lunch?

If you’re still resisting, pay attention to your excuses. The real fear is likely buried somewhere in there.

Step 3. Be prepared for your blocks to come up and have a plan in place for dealing with them.

This is a big one.

As I mentioned, you WILL have blocks and resistance show up as you work on your love-based goals. So, know this and be prepared.

There are a lot of tools that can help you overcome the blocks and resistance—meditation, journaling, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping) are some of the top. Depending on how deep the block, you may want to look into some coaching to help you work through it.

In addition, be prepared for a lot of different uncomfortable emotions to surface as you work toward your goals. You may feel anger or resentment that you’ve wasted so much time. You may feel fear that you’ll fail and lose everything. You may even feel grief, which likely doesn’t even make sense to you.

Here’s the key: If you simply feel those feelings, rather than bury them or run away from them or decide you shouldn’t be working them, those feelings will move through you. Eventually, if they do, they won’t trigger you anymore.

I’m not going to say it’s easy, because if it was, your goals would have already come true. But, it IS doable.

And, if you want to learn more about love-based goals, check out my new book “Love-Based Goals: A Guide to Living Your Purpose and Passion” available at Amazon and other major online bookstores.

[Video] The Story Behind the Story: “Love-Based Goals” book

[Video] The Story Behind the Story: “Love-Based Goals” book

I’ll start with the elephant in the room–why is a copywriting and marketing expert writing a book about goals (much less love-based goals)?

There’s no question I’ve built a business helping entrepreneurs and business owners just like you market their businesses using love-based copy. In fact, I’ve helped sell nearly $50M worth of products and services over the past 8 years using love-based copy and marketing.

When I first got the download for the love-based copy philosophy, I had no idea where it would lead. But the more I dug into it, the more I began to realize how EVERY PART of our lives can be built either on a foundation of love or a foundation of fear.

From our business to our relationships to our families, our health, our government — every aspect of our life can either be rooted in love or fear.

And it’s up to us to make the choice.

We can choose to use either love or fear to market and sell our products and services, to build our businesses and live our lives.

And, yes, this even extends to our goals.

Goals have a very special place in my heart. When I was 3, I taught myself to read because I wanted to write books so badly. Novels specifically.

So, when I started my copy and marketing business, my intention was to build a business that would also allow me to write my books.

The years went by and somehow, despite my best intentions, my books weren’t being written. Neither fiction nor nonfiction.

What was going on?

I was convinced I had an organizational problem, so I threw myself into a bunch of different planners and organizational systems.

Didn’t work.

Then, I thought maybe I needed to solve it through personal development work. So, I journaled and meditated and worked on my blocks.

I still wasn’t writing my books.

It wasn’t until after my mother died, that the dam burst and it finally became clear what was going on.

You see, I believe there are certain goals, I call them love-based goals, that are actually whispers from your soul.

For you to have these goals come true — YOU need to be evolve into the person your soul is nudging you to become.

Once you do, all the money and business and personal success will start to fall into place.

But, before that happens, YOU need to become a different person.

And, that’s where my book ” Love-Based Goals: Your Guide to Living Your Purpose and Passion” can help.

I share a few more details about the book in the video below:

It’s available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes and all other major online retailers. And once you grab your copy, you’ll be on your way to finally bringing your goals to live and living your dreams.

3 Common Pitfalls that Will Keep You From Reaching Your Goals

3 Common Pitfalls that Will Keep You From Reaching Your Goals

A famous study of Harvard graduates revealed that students who write down and review their goals are far more likely to actually attain them.

So, if it’s really that simple, why AREN’T we writing down our goals? Aren’t our goals worth doing everything in our power to make them come true?

Why is it then that we tend to celebrate the end of every year by tossing last year’s goals in the trash, and promising ourselves next year WILL be different?

Well, all due respect to the Harvard study, but I don’t think it went far enough. You see, I think there’s a deeper reason your goals haven’t come true (three of them, actually).

After all, if it was REALLY that simple—if all we had to do was write down our goals and review them every day to attain them—wouldn’t more people be doing it?

There is something deeper going on that’s keeping us from taking that simple action. And, when you understand what’s really stopping you from reaching your goals, you can then make the necessary changes that will help you do so in the future.

Let’s dig in:

1. Your identity doesn’t match your goals.

In “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living the Good Life,” Mark Manson explains how, if you want to become a writer, but you never actually sit down to write, your identity may be someone who wants to write but never actually gets anything done.

When you really think about it, this makes sense. One of the functions of the ego is to protect your core identity, because if that goes, then who are you anyway? It’s scary to lose your identity.

So, your ego is going to fight tooth and nail to keep your identity intact, even if it’s an identity you don’t particularly care for (i.e. a “wanna-be” author or entrepreneur).

And I think there’s a deeper level to this, too.

I think there are certain goals—I call them “Love-Based Goals,” that, if you want them to come true, require you to be different. They’re whispers from your soul, and they help you transform into the person your soul knows you can be.

When you become the person your soul is nudging you to be, those goals will fall into place.

But if your identity doesn’t match your goals, you’re stuck. If, for example, you’ve been saying something like, “Someday, I’m going to open my business/write that book/quit my soul-sucking job,” your identity may be stuck on some sort of future version of yourself that never comes true.

Because if it came true, you would lose your current identity, as you know it. (Paradoxical, I know. But, there are many things in our life that don’t make any sense and yet somehow, they control us, so keep an open mind.) Your ego doesn’t want to lose its current identity, so it creates a resistance to the transformation of it. Which leads me to the second pitfall that may be keeping your goals from coming true …

 2. You have a fear, a mindset block, “resistance,” or something else that’s stopping you.

(Remember, this can also be directly tied to #1—you’re blocked around your goal, and over time, your identity gradually changes to a “wanna be.”) This can show up in your life in many ways, but some common indications that this is what’s going on with you never seem to have enough time to work on your goals, or you can’t focus on them, or you experience constant procrastination when it comes to sitting down to actually work on them.

If you’re really struggling when it comes to taking action toward your dreams, you may also have some sort of fear lurking underneath the procrastination (and that fear can be totally subconscious). For instance, you may have a fear of success or a fear of failure (which clearly would impact the success of any endeavor your take on). You may have a fear of visibility or being seen, which translates to you not marketing your business enough, which results in the failure of your business. You may have a fear that your spouse or partner will leave you if you become too successful. Maybe you can’t bear the idea of making more money than your parents.

All of these are examples of what can happen when your subconscious (which is 95% of your brain) is not on board with what your conscious mind (or the other 5%) wants to do.

(Note: this one is so important, I’m going to talk more about it in future posts.)

3. The goals aren’t yours.

In some ways, this is the easiest of the three pitfalls to handle, but it may also be more deflating than the others, because you may have to come to grips with the fact that you’ve wasted a chunk of your life on goals that aren’t even yours.

If you’re facing this one, one of two things is likely going on: the goals are someone else’s, or you’re not willing to do the work.

Someone else’s goals: Maybe you grew up with a father who thought you’d make an awesome doctor, or a mother who assumed you would take over the family business. Maybe they never even asked you what you wanted to do—it was always just “understood.”

Or maybe you grew up believing part of being an adult meant you needed to get a responsible, boring job. Or maybe you felt a lot of shame around your body because it wasn’t “thin” enough, and you’re forever trying to lose weight that just refuses to come off.

All of these are examples of internalizing someone else’s goals, whether that someone else is a specific person (such as a parent), or society/media, etc.

Either way, the goals are not yours. They’re goals you likely feel you “should” be doing, but they aren’t yours.

Not willing to do the work: The other version of this pitfall comes to light when you have goals that you think are super awesome, but not quite awesome enough to actually do the work to reach them. For instance, who wouldn’t love an extra million or two in their bank account? But are you willing to do the work it requires to get that money there?

Lots of little girls dream of being a professional ballerina (including me). But, the first time I laced up actual pointe shoes and stood on my toes … let’s just say my interest waned after that.

If you’re not willing to do the work, the goals aren’t yours. (And, to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with that. We have only so much time on this planet—there’s no shame in not spending hours and hours on goals that aren’t yours.)

So, now you are aware of the common pitfalls that could be keeping you from accomplishing your goals.

And, if you want to take it a step further and bring your love-based goals to life, check out this simple, three-step system to help you get started.

And, if you want more on this topic, check out my new “Love-Based Goals: Your Guide to Your Purpose and Passion” book, available at most online retailers here.

Why Good Self-Care Equals Good Business

Why Good Self-Care Equals Good Business

If you’re anything like I once was, you’ve got your nose to the grindstone as you work to reach the goals you’ve set for 2017, which also likely means your self-care has ended up right at the bottom of the to-do list.

Again.

The “old me” would be right there with you. I always pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion (and sometimes right over that edge). Rather than giving myself a break or a bit of relaxation over a weekend, for example, I’d squeeze in as much as I could during those two days when most other people were relaxing.

But the “new me” has realized that there’s always a price to pay. I can put in those extra hours, push myself extra hard, but I can do that for only so long before it backfires.

Not only did this kind of nonstop work affect my health, but I also found that my efficiency decreased. Then, I’d end up being forced to work nights and weekends just to get five days’ worth of work done.

When I did this, I found myself hating my business. I dreaded work. It felt draining.

But then I had an epiphany.

I realized that if I put boundaries around my time, work normal hours, and make time for self-care and other things in life that feed my well-being—relationships, physical health, relaxation—then I feel better, I get more done in less time, and my relationship with my business improves.

It’s so simple, but incredible in how it can change everything.

So if you’re still running full-speed in the aftermath of the New Year excitement, then I encourage you to do one thing: take a pause. Then, assess whether you’re taking care of yourself.

Here are some simple, effective self-care habits and ways you can take care of yourself:

  • Exercise
  • Meditate
  • Drink lots of water
  • Eat healthy
  • Take baths
  • Spend time with people you enjoy
  • Take breaks

And if you do put in extra hours or work extra hard, reward yourself!

Make it a habit to love yourself so you can love your business. In fact, begin tomorrow. It’s Valentine’s Day, after all, and I think you deserve a little love. Treat yourself!

If this information resonated with you, then you may want to check out my book, How to Start a Business You Love AND That Loves You Back.” It’s designed to give you all the tools you need to start a business you love – one with which you can have a wild love affair! Click here to learn more.

Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Have Already Failed You (and What You Can Do to Turn It Around)

Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Have Already Failed You (and What You Can Do to Turn It Around)

We’re barely halfway through January, and if you’re like a lot of folks, not even one New Year’s Resolution is still standing.

That exercise program? Made it to the gym once. Taking steps toward those “important but not urgent” projects, like writing your book, or working “on” your business versus “in” your business? Yeah, right! Who has the time?

But, before you throw your hands up in despair and declare the year a failure (okay I’m exaggerating a bit), there’s still plenty of time to get back on track.

The first step: take a good, long look at your goals and each New Year’s Resolution you have for this year.

Answer these questions (I suggest getting out a pen and paper, and doing some journaling around them):

  1. How did you actually come up with the goals and each New Year’s Resolution? Was it a purely mental exercise? (In other words, did you just sit down and brainstorm or think of a list of goals and write them down?) Or did something else inspire them?
  1. Do your goals and resolutions come across as a bunch of “shoulds” or “have to’s?”

For instance:

* I should lose weight.

* I should exercise more.

* I should do a product launch.

* I should finish that new business program I’ve been working on the past two years and I really just need to get it off my plate.

  1. Are your goals and resolutions clear? Or pretty vague, making it feel even harder to actually turn them into reality?

Like:

* Spend more time with my family. (But how? I’m already drowning in to-do’s. Where do I find the time?)

* Make more money. (But how? I’m already doing everything I know how to do.)

  1. Are your goals and resolutions realistic? Or super big and intimidating?

Examples:

* I finally write my book.

* I finally start my business.

Once you’ve looked closely at your goals and each New Year’s Resolution for 2017, consider this:

The problem with all the goals listed above is that they’re setting you up for failure.

If you set goals for yourself that you don’t really want to be doing (no matter how much you feel like you should do them), or if they’re vague, or too big, or lack clear action steps that lead to their accomplishment, you’ll never achieve them.

So, how do you know if your goals fall into any of these categories? Take a moment to read what you wrote in your answers to the above questions, and pay attention to what feelings come up in your body.

If you feel tired, drained, overwhelmed, uninspired, confused, then you’ve probably set the wrong goals for you.

Now, if this is the case, the first thing to do is not beat yourself up or feel bad about it. The way we’re traditionally taught to set goals more often than not leads to our setting goals that aren’t right for us.

And there’s good news: January is considered the dreaming month, so you still have plenty of time to dream into what you want your new year to look like!

What I like to do is take some time and really feel into that – into what I want my year to look like. Don’t try and use your head or mental energies to decide what your life and business “should” look like — how do you want to feel? What lights you up? Where is your passion?

You may want to do some journaling around this topic too … how you want to feel this year. Also, you may want to ask your intuition/inner wisdom and/or God/Source/Universe/Spirit for guidance on what they think your goals should be.

Most importantly, don’t rush this process.

Once you do, chances are your goals will literally write themselves (and they’ll feel much more grounded those you had before).

And, once you’ve discovered and set goals that excite you rather than drain you, you may want to come up with a system to help you reach those goals. If that sounds good to you, check this out.

If you’d like a starting point to get more clear about where you want to go with your business, you might like my “How to Start a Business You Love AND That Loves You Back” book — you can grab your copy here.

Position Yourself for the WIN: A New Way to Set Goals

Position Yourself for the WIN: A New Way to Set Goals

How important is goal setting to making your dreams come true?

You may have seen the numbers — the most successful people in the world, the top 1% — are the ones who not only regularly set goals, but who also write them down and review them regularly.

However, most people spend zero time figuring out their goals (much less writing them down and reviewing them) beyond the immediate: what’s for dinner and what will be their next Netflix show to binge watch.

So, if setting goals really is the secret to success, and the vast majority of folks say they want to be successful, why isn’t everyone doing it? I mean, it seems like a relatively painless habit to develop, right? So what’s stopping us?

I think it’s because …

For years, I would set goals using what I would consider a very traditional process. I’d sit down and brainstorm a bunch of things I wanted to accomplish the following year, and then write them down. It was pretty simple, straight-forward, and very much a mental exercise.

Now, there’s nothing really wrong with this approach, and if this is something you do and if it’s working for you, great. It also sort of worked for me — I did see success from at least making the effort.

However, this is only one of many ways to set goals.

For instance, in his book, “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big,” Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, talks about how “Setting goals is for losers,” and what you really ought to be doing is creating systems.

His argument is that when you set goals, you constantly feel like a failure because you haven’t reached the goal. And, because you’re constantly feeling bad about your goal, you stop working toward it.

But, if you have a system, all you need to do is follow it, and you’ll feel good about yourself regardless of results.

For example, let’s say you have a goal to lose 10 pounds. Every day you haven’t lost 10 pounds is another day you feel like a failure. But, if you set up a system that revolves around exercise and eating better, and you follow that system, you’ll not only eventually lose the 10 pounds, but you’ll also feel like a winner as you follow your system and start seeing results.

While I find a lot of this intriguing — especially how it actually feels (I know the old way I set goals made me feel constantly impatient as I waited — and tried — to reach them) — it also seems like you need an initial goal to start the process of following your system. Otherwise how will you know your system is designed to actually help you reach your ultimate goal? (I know, that seems obvious, but stick with me.)

Let’s say your system is set up to support you in eating better and exercising. That’s great, and it can certainly end up making you healthier … but because there are so many ways to eat better and exercise, the system you set up may not actually help you lose weight. And if that’s the case, you won’t reach your ultimate goal, and I suspect your system will end up leaving you feeling frustrated with that constant sense of failure.

For me, what works best for me when it comes to goal setting is to use a mixture of techniques.

First off, it can’t just be a mental exercise like how I used to do it — I want to give myself the space to feel into where I want to go. I also want to make sure my inner wisdom, intuition, and God (or Spirit or Source) has a chance to weigh in.

And, once I know where I want to go, then it’s time to structure my day, including my daily habits, so I’m fully supported along the way to get there. (I suspect this is what Adams would likely call my system, and I work the system rather than fixate on the end result and feel unhappy waiting for it to come to fruition.)

Ready to give it a try? Go for it! Create a system, and reach your ultimate goals.

And if one of your goals for the New Year is to make more money, you may like my new book “Love-Based Money and Mindset,” as it includes a blueprint to help you actually create a system to make more money. You can learn more and grab your copy here.

A Powerful Ritual to End 2016 and Start 2017

A Powerful Ritual to End 2016 and Start 2017

I’m a big believer in rituals. In many ways in our Western culture, I feel like we’ve lost the magic and power of what a ritual can  bring to our day-to-day lives. Other than a few really big milestones, like weddings and deaths, we don’t celebrate many rituals in our lives.

One of the reasons why rituals are so powerful is because they mark a beginning and an end. Plus, they provide a “container,” which helps us move forward. So, there’s really no better way to end an old year and begin a new one than with a ritual.

Now, I know many of you use this time during the start of a new year to set goals or resolutions (I did myself for many years). While getting clear on the specifics for how you want your new year to look is definitely a good thing, it may not be the best place to start. (After all, look at how many New Year’s resolutions “bite the bullet” just a few weeks into the New Year.)

I think taking the time to end the last year with a ritual before getting into the nitty gritty of what you want your new year to look like is a far more effective way to actually turn your goals into reality.

My friend Christine Arylo is the one who introduced me to the concept of using a ritual to end the year, and I like to use a variation of the one she taught me.

So, the first step in a ritual is to prepare the space. I like to light a candle and select music. (I actually spend some time choosing the candle and music, to make sure they’re just right for the situation.) Some people use chimes or Tibetan singing bowls, some people use essential oils or incense, some burn sage or place crystals around the space — basically, do whatever works for you.

Along with preparing the physical space, also take some time to prepare the emotional and time space — clear your calendar, turn off email and Facebook, close your door, let your family know you’re not to be disturbed, etc. You could even leave your house and go to a coffee shop or a restaurant, if you prefer.

Next, get out some pens and paper.

My end-of-the-year ritual has a lot of journaling involved. What I like to do is really think back and review my year, first taking time to celebrate my successes. (Think about it – how often do we pause to celebrate our successes? We are so quick to rush on to the next thing, cultivating a feeling of being perpetually behind on our mile-long to-do list, rather than feeling good about what we accomplished. When we don’t pause to celebrate, it’s almost like those successes never happened.)

Next, I forgive myself for my failures, so I can move past them. (If you acknowledge your failures, you can take the learnings and wisdom with you into the New Year, and leave the failure in the old one — skip this step and you may find yourself doomed to repeating your failures over and over.)

In addition, I weave into the ritual any other things I want to up-level for the new year. This year, I wove in a money ritual to celebrate the publication of my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

I end the ritual by burning and releasing what I want to leave in 2016, and by being grateful for the lessons and growth I received.

Then I do something fun to celebrate! Maybe I’ll sit in a hot tub, or eat some chocolate, or even go out with dear friends (which is what I did this year).

Now that I’ve properly closed the circle with 2016, I can now dream into 2017 and what I would love to manifest. (And yes, that includes some goal setting and marketing plans in order to actually bring my dreams into physical form.)

If you want to learn more about daily practices and systems around attracting more money into your life, you may want to check out my new book “Love-Based Money and Mindset” on

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