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3 Tips to Getting Rid of Mind Chatter and Mental Noise, So You Can Finally Have Peace of Mind

3 Tips to Getting Rid of Mind Chatter and Mental Noise, So You Can Finally Have Peace of Mind

It happens to the best of us: mind chatter, mental noise, mental chatter … whatever name you give it, you’ve undoubtedly experienced it.

Maybe it happens just before you fall asleep at night, and you just can’t turn off your mind. You’re running through your to-do list for tomorrow, or going over and over a conversation you had with a client.

Maybe you’re so busy worrying over a looming deadline or a big project that you can’t actually get anything done! Anxiety sets in, and you’re stuck.

Whatever it is, you know this: you want it – that incessant mind chatter – to stop!

All you want is peace of mind, right?

The bad news here is that mind chatter happens. As entrepreneurs, we’re busy. We’re busy with work, family obligations, and the normal day-to-day life “stuff” that has to get done. There’s a lot to think about, a lot to worry about … and huge potential for mental noise.

You see, your mind chatter, or mental noise, is actually a sneaky version of your inner critic (or, as my friends Amy Ahlers and Christine Arylo call it, your Inner Mean Girl). It is there, looming in the dark, waiting for the right moment to step out of the shadows and show its scary face.

It doesn’t come right out and talk about your shortcomings; rather, it hints at them, making snide comments like:

  • “There’s no way you can get that all done tomorrow.”
  • “You’re probably going to forget something really important.”
  • “You really messed up that conversation with that client.”
  • “You know that project you’re working on? The client’s going to hate it, if you get it done at all.”

The good news is that you CAN put the kibosh on your inner critic. You can stop mind chatter in its tracks, and give yourself the peace of mind you so desperately want.

In other words, your peace of mind doesn’t have to be determined by your inner critic.

Today, I’m sharing three tips to stop mind chatter whenever it rears its ugly head. I’ll start with a quick, short-term fix, and move on to longer-term – and possibly even permanent – solutions.

Tip One: Flip Those Negative Thoughts into Positive Self-Talk.

When mind chatter shows up, quickly flip it around and replace the thought with self-soothing, positive self-talk that contradicts the negative chatter.

You wake up in the middle of the night, and immediately, your to-do list for tomorrow pops into your mind. It’s a doozy, and with the meetings and tasks you’ve scheduled, you’re not sure you can get everything done. But you also have this sense that you have to.

Before this mental chatter runs off with your peace of mind, stop it in its tracks. Some people say, aloud, “Stop!” or “Cancel,” and some people use these words silently. The key is to create a mental break in the pattern of mind chatter.

Then, turn those statements around into positive self-talk or affirmations (try saying them out loud, too!):

  • “I can do this. I WILL do this. I’ve got this.”
  • “I am calm.”
  • “I am capable.”
  • “I am checking these items off my to-do list so quickly!”
  • “I can solve any problem.”

As I mentioned above, this is a short-term solution. It will stop mind chatter in the moment, but it doesn’t necessarily address the underlying cause of the mental noise.

So let’s talk about another tip that’s designed to help you remove the fear from the situation.

Tip Two: Play out the Scenario until It Reaches a Silly Conclusion.

This exercise is one I shared in my book, Love-Based Online Marketing. It comes from my friend Therese Skelly, who’s an expert at identifying your core message and releasing the blocks that keep you from success, so you can make the difference you’re here to make.

When your inner critic steps in, it’s often in the form of fear. Back to that middle-of-the-night to-do list: it’s keeping you awake because you’re afraid of not getting it done. What does that really boil down to? Maybe it’s a fear of failure or a fear of letting someone down.

So once you’ve identified the specific fear related to your mental noise or mind chatter, ask yourself a series of questions about what that will look like.

Let’s walk through an example with the assumption that you’re afraid that you’ll let your significant other down if you don’t get to the store so you can buy food to cook dinner tomorrow.

Q: What are you afraid is going to happen if you don’t make it to the grocery store?

A: My wife will be disappointed in me.

Q: So, what’s the worst that will happen if she’s disappointed in you?

A: It means that I’ve let her down.

Q: So what is the worst that can happen if she feels like you let her down?

A: Then she won’t love me anymore.

Q: And what’s the worst that will happen if she doesn’t love you anymore?

A: Then we’ll have to get a divorce.

Q: And what is the worst that will happen if you get a divorce?

A: I’ll be alone and miserable for the rest of my life.

You see how this goes. You can keep going and going until you reach a conclusion … all because you ran out of time to get to the grocery store.

Here’s the thing: we know this isn’t going to happen. Your spouse won’t divorce you because you ran out of time to get to the grocery store.

For some people, the sheer act of going through this exercise allows them to see how baseless their fear is, which allows them to start moving past it.

This is an immediate and long-term solution. Not only does it stop the mind chatter while it’s happening, but it also helps you identify the root cause of your mind chatter and move past the fear. It can apply to any situation where fear shows up!

Tip Three: Stop the Story in Your Head and Breathe into the Emotions.

When you fall victim to mind chatter, you can quickly nip it in the bud if you stop the story in your head (you may want to use actual words here, like, “Stop,” or, “Cancel,” like I recommended in the first tip) and just feel the emotions you’re feeling.

This exercise helps break the emotional connection of the mind chatter.

For example, if you’re experiencing fear of letting your spouse down, or fear of failure, taking a moment to breathe into that fear can actually help you move past it.

Your fear may stem from some past trauma or other pent-up negative emotions you haven’t yet dealt with. But once you feel into, and breathe into, those emotions, you can begin to resolve them.

At first, mind chatter may continue to pop up when you face an event that triggers that old trauma or emotion, but over time, as you continue to feel and breathe into that emotion, it’s possible that the mind chatter will fade away.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to be a victim to mind chatter.

If you’re tired of falling victim to your mind chatter, I’d love for you to try some of these tips. And let me know how they work for you in the comments below!

And if you’d like more help breaking the mind chatter, my Love-Based Money and Mindset book may be perfect for you. You can check it out and grab your copy here.

3 Reasons Your Mindset Is Crucial to Writing Love-Based Copy

3 Reasons Your Mindset Is Crucial to Writing Love-Based Copy

If you’ve been following my blog, you probably understand the difference between fear-based marketing and love-based marketing. But did you know that if you’re not in a love-based mindset, you’re going to have a difficult time writing great love-based copy?

Here’s why: any fear-based emotions you experience around your business and/or your marketing will shine through in your marketing and messaging, both in terms of how you feel about it, and how your customers perceive it.

For example, if you feel like marketing is slimy or arm-twisty, that will not only hold you back from writing promotional copy but also getting it out there. And if you’re experiencing marketing resistance, you may unknowingly sabotage your own efforts.

Here’s a quick recap of the difference between traditional, fear-based marketing, and love-based marketing:

Fear-based marketing often uses fear-based emotions like guilt, shame, or scarcity to get people to buy.

For example, a dentist might use fear-based marketing like this: “If you don’t come into the dentist this week, you’ll probably lose all your teeth.”

On the other hand, love-based marketing triggers love-based emotions like hope and abundance.

For example, a dentist might use love-based marketing like this: “My staff members and I have specialized in providing the best possible dental care in a stress-free environment – we keep your gums and teeth healthy for as long as you need them!”

You’ll feel good about it, your prospects will feel good about it, and your business will thrive.

That being said, here are 3 reasons mindset is crucial to writing love-based copy:

  1. It helps you feel good about what you write.

If you’re like so many of my clients, you just don’t like writing marketing copy. You feel like you’re twisting people’s arms, or being slimy somehow. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

When you write copy from a love-based mindset, you realize that you’re simply providing your potential clients or customers with a choice about whether to work with you, to experience the solution you provide.

You let them know you understand the pain they’re in, you present your product or services as the solution, and you step back and let them make that choice.

No arm twisting required.

  1. It helps you get past marketing resistance.

Marketing can be a huge trigger, because it brings up so many fear-based emotions.

Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not earning money, not having time to spend with your family and friends, fear of “putting yourself out there,” of “owning your value,” of “selling yourself.”

Whew!

When you’re coming from a love-based mindset, though, you’re not thinking about all that “scary” stuff.

You’re thinking about how to best let your prospects know that you’re available as the solution to overcome their pain points or problems.

You’re feeling confident that your love-based copy will inspire just the right people to work with you, at precisely the right time. With this confidence comes the ability to recognize and move past marketing resistance that often results from fear-based emotions.

  1. It gives your prospects the space to make a choice, which feels so much better than pursuing them.

Love-based marketing copy is so effective when you’re writing it from a love-based mindset. Why?

Because your prospects see you as a loving individual who cares about the transformation they’re preparing to make!

Even if they don’t ultimately decide to buy from you, they’ll have seen that there’s the potential for transformation, and that they can choose a better way. They can choose to move beyond their pain. Even if they don’t do it by working with you, it’s possible that you’ve offered them a new vision for the future!

And how great is that?

If this resonates with you, you may enjoy reading the first book in my Love-Based Copywriting series, Love-Based Copywriting Method: The Philosophy Behind Writing Copy That Attracts, Inspires and Invites. It’s available in both print and most eBook formats, and you can get it here.

[Video] The Story Behind the Story — “Love-Based Copywriting Method”

[Video] The Story Behind the Story — “Love-Based Copywriting Method”

“Love-Based Copywriting Method” is the book that started the Love-Based Business movement.

Before I wrote this book, entrepreneurs didn’t have much of a choice on how they wanted to market themselves with their promotional copy (copywriting is writing marketing materials, nothing to do with putting a copyright on something or protecting intellectual property).

They could either choose to use traditional direct response copy and marketing (an example of direct response copy is those long sales letters that you scroll down forever wondering how much it is and does anyone actually read these or those emails asking you to click on a link) which meant in many cases they were using marketing tactics that felt hype-y, sales-y or inauthentic.

Or, they could choose not use direct response copy and marketing.

Of course, the problem with NOT using it is then you haven’t leveraged your marketing. When you use direct response copy, you are marketing one-to-many. Without it, you’re stuck marketing one-to-one. As you can imagine, it’s tough to grow your business that way.

But, then, in 2014, my friend Susan Liddy came out with a book called “Love-Based Marketing.” I looked at that title and thought “Love-Based Copy.” What’s the opposite of love-based copy? Well, it would be fear-based copy.

And that’s when the whole philosophy downloaded into me.

But, I’m getting a little ahead of myself — check out the whole story behind the story of “Love-Based Copywriting Method” below:

If you’re looking for a way to sell more with love, this book is the place to start. It explains the philosophy behind love-based copy so you can build your marketing and business on a solid foundation of love.

“Love-Based Copywriting Method” is available at all the major online retailers — check it out here.

[Video] Flip It: Can Flipping Your Perspective Get You Everything You Want?

[Video] Flip It: Can Flipping Your Perspective Get You Everything You Want?

Is your perspective (i.e. how you perceive things) keeping you stuck?

That’s the question my new Web TV show “Flip It!” explores.

But first, what does this mean exactly?

Well, in a lot of cases, we get stuck in our own beliefs or stories and can’t move forward. So, for instance, some examples of beliefs or stories that hold us back could be something like “I’m terrible at math,” “I suck at public speaking” “I’m bad at business” or “I’m not good with money.”

They may sound true. You may believe they’re true.

BUT … are they true?

Take a few minutes to watch my first episode and decide for yourself.

 

It’s my personal belief (no pun intended) that the biggest thing holding people back from living their dreams is their personal beliefs. I know how painful it can be to live a life that isn’t your own, but so often we’re the ones who build our own prisons, trapping ourselves with our own beliefs and perceptions. However, if we can flip our perspective, that may provide enough of a crack to break us free.

And, if you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can grab your copy here.

6 Signs You’re Attracting Money in a Fear-Based Way – and How to Attract It in a Love-Based Way (That Feels GOOD!), Instead

6 Signs You’re Attracting Money in a Fear-Based Way – and How to Attract It in a Love-Based Way (That Feels GOOD!), Instead

In my last blog post, What Does “Love-Based Money” Actually Mean? (And Will This New Way of Thinking Really Help You Attract More Money?), I explained the difference between love-based money and fear-based money and how you can use the love-based/fear-based concept to attract money.

Today, I want to dig into this a little deeper.

How do you actually know if you’re attracting money in a fear-based way? And if you are, how can you turn that around so you’re attracting money in a love-based way?

Here are six signs you’re attracting money in a fear-based way:

  1. You’re landing the wrong clients. The clients you’re closing are not a good fit for you. You likely don’t enjoy working with them and even dread getting on the phone with them. They’re never happy, which means you’re not happy, either. You spend 80% of your time on these clients, but make only 20% of your money from them (in other words, they’re high maintenance). These are the clients who ask for refunds (even after you’ve spent hours trying to make them happy), or give you bad reviews when they’re talking to their friends and colleagues.
  2. Your business has “issues.” Whether it’s issues with your team, your system, your technology or your vendors, you’re constantly fighting fires rather than doing what you love most.
  3. Your mental and physical health suffer. You are anxious and exhausted. You lack energy and focus. Your stress carries over into other aspects of your life, preventing you from truly enjoying anything.
  4. You’re working too hard and making less than you want. You’re always on the hamster wheel, trying to land the next client and sell the next project so you can get ahead … only, you never do, because you’re always behind.
  5. You feel like you’re always forcing things to happen. A big percentage of your tasks feel like emergencies. You keep thinking that if you can just work harder, try harder, push harder, then one day you’ll have “made it” and can relax. (Which of course never happens.)
  6. The more money you make, the worse you feel. I know, it sounds almost impossible, right? But when you bring in money with fear, your problems mount and your fear-based emotions grow. Now, along with worrying about not having enough, you also start worrying about losing what you have.

If you’re reading this and realizing that you are, in fact, bringing in money with fear, then you’re probably wondering what you can do to start bringing in money with love.

I’ve got you covered.

When you build your business—and attract money—in a love-based way, you’ll find that things just seem to flow … and you can enjoy the world of entrepreneurship without anxiety, stress, overwhelm, or anger.

Here are four steps you can take, starting now, to begin attracting money in a way that feels effortless:

1. Shift your perspective around fear-based emotions. I use a two-step process for breaking the hold your fear-based emotions have on you.

Step 1: Consider your fear-based emotions a guide. If you’re feeling worry or anxiety or fear or anger or resentment, check in with yourself. Do you need to course-correct? Or are you afraid because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. This is an important first step to stopping fear-based emotions from controlling you.

Step 2: Start moving the energy of your fear-based emotions, by really feeling and integrating them. Feel your emotions, breathe into them, and confront them head-on with rational thoughts.

2. Shift your mindset into love and abundance. Create a daily practice designed to help you start each day in a love-based emotion. I recommend meditating, gratitude practices, affirmations, journaling, exercise, prayer, visualization exercises, or a combination of the above. A daily practice changed my life, and I’m confident that it can change yours.

3. Change your beliefs. You may have limiting beliefs—like, “I don’t deserve to make a lot of money,” or, “I’m not smart enough to run a business,” or, “No one will buy what I’m selling.” These limiting beliefs may be really obvious and make a big impact on your life, or they may be hidden, but the bottom line is that they stop you from reaching your goals. If you can identify the stories that stem from these beliefs, you can begin to move past them. For example, you may believe that if you leave a job you hate, your family will be disappointed and you’ll let everyone down. So, you stay in the job you hate, but you’re so stressed that your relationships with your family members deteriorate anyway. But when you recognize that story for what it is – a story built on the fear that you’ll let your family down – you can take action despite it.

4. Listen to your intuition. The more you listen to your intuition, the less you’ll be controlled by your inner critics, and the easier it will be to move yourself toward the life of your dreams.

And finally, for my BIG BONUS TIP:

Keep in mind that how your desire manifests itself may not always look how you think it ought to look, or how you expected it to. Remain committed to your desire but not attached to how it actually unfolds.

Here’s a great example: one of my colleagues launched a product last year and it went terribly! The launch was a disaster. (You can listen to the full story here.) But rather than force things—by immediately running out and planning an emergency launch and a million emails to try to salvage it—she relaxed. And guess what? The money came in different ways. So she still manifested her desire—to reach the people she wanted to reach and make a certain amount of money—but it didn’t look exactly the same as she’d expected it to.

If you like (and resonate with) this approach, you might want to check out my book “Love-Based Money and Mindset,” in which I share specific action steps on how you can shift your relationship with money, so you start to easily and effortlessly attract it. Learn more here.

What Does “Love-Based Money” Actually Mean? (And Will This New Way of Thinking Really Help You Attract More Money?)

What Does “Love-Based Money” Actually Mean? (And Will This New Way of Thinking Really Help You Attract More Money?)

In order to help us attract money along with understanding what love-based money actually means, it would probably help to understand the difference between love-based versus fear-based (this post explains it).

Once you understand that difference, the next step is to dig in and explain how the love-based/fear-based concept relates to money.

To start, without a doubt, the thought of money can throw us into our fear-based emotions faster than we can say “fear”!

Every time we get stressed around money — maybe an unexpected bill pops up, or we lose a client, or suffer another financial setback — the first thing many of us do is dive straight into fear-mode, spinning around, desperately trying to figure out a solution.

(Or, we sink into depression — collapsing on the couch and binge watching “Game of Thrones” with a carton of Rocky Road ice cream. Or, we alternate between the two modes — spinning around frantically trying to bring in money with periods of depression and procrastination.)

The problem is, when we’re trying to drum up money when we’re lost in a fog of fear, we’re essentially building our relationship with money right smack on a foundation of fear.

And then, it becomes a vicious cycle:

We’re full of worry or fear or anxiety, and we start trying to create money in that mindset. And while we might succeed in bringing money in, initially, it doesn’t make the fear-based emotions go away.

If anything, it actually amplifies them. (Think about it: you worry about money, you bring some in, you worry about where it needs to go/how it will be spent, you worry about losing it, you worry it’s not enough, and you worry about how you’ll get more.)

However, if you can instead bring in money from a place of love, not only will it be easier to attract in the first place (and very likely lead to abundance), but it also won’t be tainted with the energy of fear (a low-vibration emotion that inhibits your ability to attract money and abundance).

And this is what love-based money is really about …

(AND, it lets us feel peaceful and good as we bring it into our lives.)

If you like (and resonate with) this approach, you might want to check out my book “Love-Based Money and Mindset,” in which I share specific action steps on how you can shift your relationship with money, so you start to easily and effortlessly attract it. Learn more here.