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Marketing problem? The Real Reasons Your Product/Service Might Not Be Selling

Marketing problem? The Real Reasons Your Product/Service Might Not Be Selling

It happens all the time. You have what you think is a “marketing problem.”

You have a disappointing product launch. You have issues consistently selling your services. A program that used to sell well stopped.

There are a lot of reasons why this could be happening, and in most (if not all) of the cases, the issue comes down to what looks like a marketing problem.

But, what if the marketing problem was a symptom, and not the cause?

What if the cause was something deeper … what if it had more to do with WHAT you’re selling?

And it’s really a form of sabotage?

And, the reason why it’s sabotage is because you have misgivings about the product or service or program you’re offering.

Before I dig into all the ways you can sabotage yourself, let’s explore all the ways you may be less than thrilled with your products, programs, or services.

• You don’t particularly like the product, service, or program you’re selling.

There’s a lot of ways this can manifest itself.

Maybe you became a coach only to realize you don’t like coaching, but now you have all these clients, and you’ve got money coming in—money your family is dependent on—so what can you do?

Or, maybe you love some types of coaching but not others. I see this a lot in the industry I’m in. There are many folks who want to be life coaches or spiritual coaches, but they struggle to make money, so they become a business coach instead.

Over time, many of these spiritual or life coaches come to detest business coaching.

I’ve highlighted some of these stories in my Love-Based Money podcastBarb, Anastasia, Sierra—all these women built up very successful coaching businesses only to tear it all down when they woke up one day and finally had to admit to themselves how much they hated what they built.

• You know this particular product, program, or service isn’t your best work.

Maybe you threw it together because you saw an opportunity and wanted to act fast, and the finished product ended up being on the sloppy side. Or maybe you discovered errors in it after the fact. Or maybe when you created it, it was a solid, well-put-together product, but now it’s out-of-date and really needs an upgrade. Or maybe the content is fine, but it has technical issues (bad video, bad audio, typos, etc.)

Regardless of how it happened, you know it’s not as good as you’d like it to be, and every time someone buys, you find yourself cringing inside.

• You don’t particularly like the clients, customers, or buyers you’re attracting.

If you’re selling a product where you have absolutely no contact with your buyers, this is less of an issue, but if the product or service includes any type of interaction, this is clearly an issue.

Think about it—if you dislike talking to your customers and clients, you’re probably going to dread getting on the phone with them or meeting them in person, or maybe even answering their emails.

How can you possibly get excited about marketing something that is going to require you to interact with people you don’t like?  Even if you are making good money, eventually there will come a time when the money no longer matters, and all you want is out.

• You’ve outgrown your product, program, or service.

Businesses are living entities. Over time, they grow, change, evolve, and even die.

As your business changes, so do your offerings.

Maybe a product or program or service that used to be a good fit isn’t anymore. Maybe it’s not in alignment with who you are or the message you want to get out into the world in a bigger way. Or maybe the graphics or branding around the product, program,or service needs an upgrade.

If you no longer feel what you’re offering is a good match for where you are now, it’s going to be difficult for you to promote it.

• You’re lacking the team, support, system, backend, etc. to create excellent customer service.

You may love coaching and your clients, but you have no system in place to onboard new clients. Your “welcome packet” (if you can call it that) is a mess, and it’s a crapshoot if you’re able to get your new clients scheduled in a timely manner.

Or maybe you have an online learning platform that doesn’t work very well, so you know every time you get a new student, you’re going to also get customer service emails full of questions and problems.

Or maybe you have no systems created around taking care of new clients and customers, or maybe you don’t have the right team members in place to take care of your clients and customers. Or, maybe you have a fabulous team, but they’re tapped out. They can’t handle any more clients or customers, so you’re not able to grow.

How can you market yourself when you no every new customer, client or buyer is going to add stress to your life?

• You’re secretly afraid your product, service, or program isn’t any good.

There are a lot of ways this can manifest itself: You don’t value yourself or what your offering, you’re afraid you’ll fail and let down your clients, you feel like you’re a fraud, you feel like you need to read “one more book” or get “one more certification” before you’re an expert.

If you feel like you’re selling snake oil, and the last thing you want is to be a snake oil salesperson, it’s going to be very difficult to consistently and effectively market or promote or sell your offerings.

So, those are some of the top ways you may be less than thrilled with your product, program, or service. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but hopefully it gives you some ideas on the questions to ask yourself around the product or program or service that just isn’t selling as well as you’d like.

Because if any of these are true (even if it’s just a little true), there’s likely a part of you that really doesn’t want any customers or clients to buy it. (Hence, why, on the surface, this would look like a “marketing problem” even though underneath what’s really happening is a form of sabotage.)

Think about it: If you don’t like what you’re selling, you’re not going to want to sell it.

If you don’t like your customers, you’re not going to want to spend time with them.

If you think your product or program or service is outdated or not very good, you may be embarrassed to have people buy it.

If you’re lacking the backend or customer support, you may know new clients and customers are just going to turn into massive headaches for you, and who needs that?

And, if you have any sort of feelings of fraud or not being good enough, how on earth could you in good faith take other people’s money for something you’re secretly afraid is crap?

Now, it’s entirely possible (and certainly does happen) that you can feel this and still push through to make a lot of money at whatever it is your selling. (My Love-Based Money podcast guests are a great example of forcing themselves to grow a business they weren’t in alignment with.)

But, for many entrepreneurs, even if they are able to make money in the short term with the product or service, they can’t sustain it. So, they end up in a financial rollercoaster.

You see, if you’re going to “force” yourself to market or sell something that you either don’t like or are ashamed of at some level, that means you’re going to need to use a lot of willpower to keep you going.

And, willpower will only take you so far.

So, then, what happens?

That’s when the sabotage kicks in.

Well, maybe you cut back on the number of emails you send in a launch, despite knowing (or being told) not to do that.

Maybe you deflate at the end of a sales call (and end up never making the sale).

Maybe you bomb any opportunity you get to be in front of your ideal clients (talks go wrong, weird tech issues show up on webinars, etc.).

Or maybe you and your marketing just slowly disappear. Maybe you stop hanging out on Facebook, even though you know it’s a great source of prospects for you. Maybe you stop posting regularly to your blog, or you don’t record your podcast consistently. Maybe you “take a break” from emailing your subscribers.

What do all of these have in common? On the surface they look like a marketing problem. (And, don’t get me wrong, they ARE a marketing problem.) But, what’s really going on is sabotage–you’re taking unconscious actions or making unconscious decisions to hurt your marketing.

You may not be aware of what you’re doing, or maybe you have some really good excuses for not doing the things you know you should. (And, truly, it’s not your fault if this is happening to you as this typically shows up as a big blindspot.)

But, regardless, the outcome is the same. Your sales aren’t great, and a part of you (which may be buried really deep inside) is glad.

And, this cycle of continuing to sabotage yourself while having it look like a marketing problem, will continue.

If any of this resonates with you, and you feel like you may need to go deeper, you may want to check out my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

The Secret to Building a Business That Can Weather Any Storm … No Matter How Scary

The Secret to Building a Business That Can Weather Any Storm … No Matter How Scary

I was recently cleaning out some old papers I happened to find at the bottom of my desk, when I came across some teachings from Dan Kennedy.

If you haven’t heard of Dan Kennedy, he’s this old, grizzled marketing and copy guru and author of the No BS series of books. In the beginning of my career, I learned a lot about how to write traditional copy from him. (He was also the “Kennedy” in the Glazer-Kennedy Marketing company.)

I glanced through the papers and this Dan Kennedy quote caught my eye:

“If you’re still in the same business you were in 3-5 years ago, you have no business.”

I then looked at the date of the training and saw it was from 2012.

This really hit me, because, you see, my first thought when I read that quote was “how timely.” When really, Dan Kennedy wrote it six years ago.

For many entrepreneurs in the online information product industry (which includes the transformation industry), 2017 was a really rough year. That was the year we started to see how many of the business “truths” we thought were infallible were, in fact, very fallible.

And, for some entrepreneurs who had built businesses on those “infallible” truths, even big, multi-million-dollar businesses, were seeing massive cracks and their businesses crumble on what they thought was a pretty solid structure.

So, let’s start by acknowledging the truth: Yes, it can be scary. Very scary. If you’re worried or scared about the future of your business and you’re uncertain about what to do or which direction to go, you’re absolutely not alone. I  encourage you to feel whatever it is that wants to come up—just don’t let it stop you from taking action.

And let’s acknowledge another truth: It sucks.

Look, as humans, we are biologically wired to not like change. It’s in our DNA. Change can be dangerous to our very existence. So, as much as possible, our brains try to minimize change in order to keep us safe.

Which is why this idea of constantly looking at our businesses and seeing what we need to do differently is exhausting and overwhelming.

After all, don’t we want to just “set it and forget it”?

Wouldn’t it be nice to discover the “secret of success” and then finally stop looking?

Alas, if only it were that simple.

So, what’s the solution?

Well, I think first of all, acknowledge that it is both scary and daunting, AND decide to take action regardless.

Second, pay attention to your industry. Go to events, talk to friends and colleagues, follow people who follow trends and write about them (this blog can be a good place to start).

Third, know this:

Maybe it means that you tweak an existing product or service to better meet demand.

Maybe you change how you market.

Maybe you add a new product line or retire an old product line.

To be honest, you might even welcome some of changes.

Because, along with the landscape changing, you yourself are changing, and your business (which while not “alive” in the traditional sense, is still a living entity) are also changing.

Listen to what wants to emerge. Be open to what wants to change. (It’s easier to surrender to what wants to happen than it is to fight it.)

Lastly, know some things really DON’T ever change.

For instance, a business is really about finding and connecting with your ideal clients. It’s about building relationships. It’s about giving value. It’s about making offers your ideal clients want to buy. Those things don’t change.

And if you keep those business truths in mind (not to mention actually building your business on those truths and not the slippery, cracked “truths” of whatever is hot in the moment), you’ll be able to weather any storm …

No matter how scary it might initially look.

If you’d like to dig more deeply into building your business on a solid foundation, my Love-Based Business books can help, specifically my “Love-Based Online Marketing” book.

[Video] Flip It! Do You Break Commitments to Yourself?

[Video] Flip It! Do You Break Commitments to Yourself?

During the years when I was building my copywriting and marketing company, I almost never broke a commitment I made to another person, whether that person was a partner or client.

Now, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t renegotiate commitments, I absolutely did that. But, one of my core values is integrity, and over the years I spent a lot of time and energy to live my life and run my business from a place of integrity.

I may not have always succeeded and I most definitely made mistakes, but I always did the best I could in the moment.

EXCEPT when it came to commitments to myself.

Those, I broke. A lot.

My commitment to my own writing and books? Dead last on the list. Even commitments to marketing my business or creating other income streams were close to the bottom of my to-do list.

At the time, I called it “giving myself a break.” Typically, how it would play out is I would get a big client project or a lot of client work would walk in the door, and I would start to feel super overwhelmed and anxious about everything I had to do. So, I would “give myself a break” by moving or cancelling my own projects.

I always told myself once this “crazy” period was over, I would pick up where I left off. And of course, I rarely did, except for select marketing activities.

What I was really doing was giving myself permission to break commitments to myself.

Now, how this ended up playing out for me is I kept doing it until one day something deep inside me started to revolt. About the same time my mother got sick with cancer, so I had both external and internal pressures to change. That combination finally did it.

So, let’s talk about you. How are you showing up for your dreams and goals? Are you sitting down each day to honor them, even if that means writing a book you’re not sure anyone will ever read or writing blog posts for a blog no one is visiting or marketing a business that’s doesn’t seem to get any traction?

It’s tough. I know. I’ve been there. But, here’s the truth. The more you let yourself off the hook or give yourself a break and not show up for yourself and your dreams and goals, the more you’re going to throttle your success.

While it’s true I built a pretty successful business breaking commitments to myself, I was also often stressed, overwhelmed and consumed with worry. I burned out multiple times building that company.

Now that I’ve made commitments to myself as non-negotiable as the commitments I make to other people, everything has shifted. I’m a lot less stressed and a lot less overwhelmed, even though I’m actually getting more work done every day. I’m also a lot happier and a lot more at peace.

And the best part?  I’m starting to see a lot more traction and momentum in my business, more than I experienced before.

If you’re feeling stuck and trapped in a cycle where nothing you’re doing is working, I’d love to encourage you to take a moment and see where you’re showing up for yourself and where you’re breaking commitments to yourself. You may also want to check out an earlier Flip It episode titled “A Simple Marketing Exercise that Could Transform Your Business” and see what happens when you do that exercise.

One of the reasons why it’s so easy to break commitments to yourself is because it’s not public. Only you really knows what you did.

But, shouldn’t your relationship to yourself be the most important one in your life?

I can tell you from experience, the more you show up for yourself, the more you’ll get everything you want.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Your Success: Are You Taking it For Granted?

[Video] Your Success: Are You Taking it For Granted?

As many of you may know, we just had the Winter Olympics, and the US women’s hockey team beat the odds and won the gold.

So, because I live in America, there are inevitable references to that famous Miracle on Ice game.

If you don’t know the story, here’s the cliff notes version. In 1980, the US men’s hockey team beat the Russians. Now, that may not sound like a big deal, but at the time, the US men’s hockey team was something of a longstanding joke.

That’s because if you were a professional athlete, you were barred from competing in the Olympics. So, no NHL players. Instead, the US would field a team of a bunch of college kids.

The Russians, however, for all practical purposes had their professional hockey team in the Olympics. Yes they weren’t technically professionals, but Russia had found a way to get around that rule.

This particular Russian team was really good. All it did was win. The players had been together for years and they had won virtually every game they played.

Until they ran into the buzzsaw of those college kids in the Olympics.

You may have seen some of the pictures from that Olympics, specifically the famous Sports Illustrated cover that showed the pure chaotic joy of the players celebrating on the ice.

But, what isn’t talked about as much is what the Russians were doing.

They had gathered together on their side of the ice and were standing there watching the Americans lose their minds.

I saw a documentary about the Miracle on Ice, and filmmakers had interviewed one of the Russian players. They asked him what he, and the rest of the team, was thinking at the time.

The player said, and I’m paraphrasing, they were watching the Americans because they had won so often and for so long, it had become expected. They no longer felt joy when they won a game. They had forgotten the joy of winning and watching the Americans brought that back to them.

Now, I’d like to bring this back to you and your business. Is there some successful part of your business that has become so expected, so routine, you’re taking it for granted?

I’m not talking about your entire business, just one part. For instance, maybe you get a crazy high open rate. Or maybe you have really good organic traffic to your blog. Or maybe you have a popular podcast with a lot of downloads.

Never mind if you’ve figured out how to monetize it yet. Are you seeing some level of success that you’re now expecting and taking for granted and no longer celebrating when it happens?

If we’re forever stuck in this energy of “not enough” or “well sure this is good but look at this other list of everything that sucks,” how can we possibly open ourselves up to receive bigger levels of success?

In fact, that’s one of the secrets of a gratitude practice. Being grateful for what you have opens you up to receive even more.

So, I’d like to encourage you to take a moment and celebrate the small successes of your business. Especially anything you used to celebrate and you don’t anymore because it’s happened so often you are now taking it for granted.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Are You Trading Your Success For Safety?

[Video] Flip It! Are You Trading Your Success For Safety?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stay safe. The problem comes in when wanting to stay safe starts to interfere with your dreams.

I started this conversation on this episode of Flip It! called “A Simple Marketing Exercise That Could Transform Your Business.” There, I talk about committing to consistently taking action on one marketing tactic for a year and see what demons and triggers come up for you.

Chances are, your head will be full of excuses about why you can’t possibly do that, plus your fear-based emotions will likely raise their ugly heads so you’ll feel like absolute crap.

And, if that wasn’t enough, you may find other things happening to sabotage you, such as family dramas suddenly increasing or maybe you end up sick or so overwhelmed and stressed you’re not able to get much done.

The reason why all of that happens is because your brain, both your ego and your subconscious, are trying to keep you safe.

Not happy. Safe.

You see, if you are taking frequent and consistent marketing action, I don’t care what marketing action that is, but if that’s what you’re doing, something will change.

It could be a huge change. Or it could be something smaller.

But, your business and life WILL shift.

And, change can mean danger.

Right now, you’re safe. Relatively speaking. Clearly, something could happen that’s out of the blue and completely unexpected, but barring that, you’re safe.

And, if you stay in your comfort zone, you will likely stay relatively safe.

Your ego and subconscious have done their job.

But, just because you’re safe, doesn’t mean you’re happy. It also doesn’t mean you’re successful.

So, if you want to become more successful than you are right now, you have to get outside your comfort zone. You have to do things differently.

You have to take risks.

And, you’re likely going to feel awful while it’s happening. Your inner critic is going to criticize you and all sorts of uncomfortable emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, guilt, shame and even grief, will be triggered.

Your job is to both feel your emotions and not listen to your inner critic.

And, keep moving forward.

Because, if you stop, you’re choosing safety. That’s what your ego and your subconscious want. They want you to stop so you stay safe.

They’re not trying to make you feel bad because they’re being mean or they’re evil or something. They’re doing it because they have your best interests in mind. They want you to be safe! What more could you possibly want?

But, if you push through, that’s the place where all your dreams live.

The best part? Your subconscious and your ego WILL adjust and eventually even success will become your new comfort level.

Until you’re ready to move to the next level of success, that is.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Online Marketing” book and my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Your Sales Process] Are You Assuming the Yes or Assuming the No?

[Your Sales Process] Are You Assuming the Yes or Assuming the No?

Let me start by asking you a question. As part of your sales process, when you’re in a sales or enrollment conversation, do you assume you’re going to hear a “yes” or a “no”?

Now, I’m not asking how attached you are to hearing a “yes.” Say, for instance, you’re feeling stressed about money. You might feel like you absolutely need a prospect to say “yes,” or you won’t be able to pay your bills. That’s more of a desperate, pursuing energy, and it’s usually connected to being attached to the yes.

My question today is during the sales process, are you assuming your prospects will say “yes?”

And more importantly … are you prepared for them to say “yes”?

I was recently at an event hosted by my friend and client Melinda Cohan, and one of the things she taught was to always assume the yes.

Melinda does. She also uses The Coaches Console, a software platform she created, to prepare the contract so that when she gets the yes, she can pull it up right then and there and walk the prospect through it.

One of the reasons why this is so powerful is because if you’re not actually prepared to welcome new clients into your business, you may unconsciously repel them.

Think about it: If you don’t have a contract ready, or a decent way to accept payment … if your welcome packet is a mess (or nonexistent), not to mention the rest of the back end of your business is pretty much a train wreck, onboarding a new client turns into an absolute headache.

And, if you’re not a full-body, 100% yes to accepting new clients, how comfortable do you think your prospects are going to feel during your sales process?

Melinda is a little different from many of the other entrepreneurs and coaches out there (including yours truly). Many entrepreneurs and coaches jump first and ask questions later. In their eagerness to build their business and start making money, they rush out to start signing up clients, without once considering what will happen when they actually land one.

When Melinda was building her business, she spent the first few months creating systems and getting her back end together, so when she was ready to launch, she was totally prepared. As a result, it didn’t take her long at all to completely fill her business with coaching clients.

And, because there was nothing else out there to help coaches build their back end, she created The Coaches Console.

So, back to assuming the yes:

When I first heard Melinda teach it on stage, it had a profound affect on me.

You see, I’m an Enneagram 6 (you may have heard me talk about this before). If you’re not familiar with the Enneagram, it’s a really powerful way to see your patterns around your wounds. If you want to break negative cycles you find yourself trapped in, the Enneagram can really help.

So, I’m a 6, which means I’m a massive worrier. (Fear is my thing, which I suppose makes total sense that I’m now teaching how to shift from a fear-based foundation and to a love-based.)

Now, I actually don’t really worry anymore (which doesn’t mean I don’t feel fear or worry or anxiety; it just means when those emotions come up for me, I’m able to quickly break the pattern and get out of it). But, some of my old thought processes still exist, and one of those is the idea of the “other shoe dropping.”

To me, assuming the yes means I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This is a problem (at least for me).

One of the things I realized about my worry habit was that I had created a false “story” about my worry—that it was actually a magical talisman designed to keep bad things from happening to me.

You see, if I worried about the bad things, they wouldn’t happen. (Because, truthfully, the vast majority of things you worry about don’t happen. For me, at least, my worry attracted more things to worry about, but it didn’t necessarily attract the specific bad things I was thinking about.)

So, if I started assuming the yes, all those other shoes would start dropping … raining shoes, even!

Okay, all kidding aside, I want to ask you again what I consider a profound question:

If you’re assuming the no, are you afraid you might jinx it if you assume the yes?

Or are you maybe afraid you’ll raise your own hopes only to be dashed if the prospect says “no”?

Or maybe there’s some other reason.

But, what would happen if you assumed the yes?

How would your life change if you walked into an enrollment conversation confident and prepared for that to happen?

Think about it.

I have two book recommendations for you if you liked this post: My “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book and my “Love-Based Online Marketing” book.

[Video] Flip It! Could Changing One Habit Change Your Life?

[Video] Flip It! Could Changing One Habit Change Your Life?

There’s a surprising story in the beginning of the book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and Business.

Lisa’s life was a train wreck. She couldn’t hold down a job, drank too much, ate too much, smoked, and was in substantial debt.

Then, one day, her husband told her he was leaving her for another woman. Initially, she spent four months crying, binge drinking, and binge eating, before finally deciding to take a trip to Egypt to clear her head. (Her credit cards weren’t completely maxed yet, so why not?)

When she got to Cairo, she had a bit of a meltdown as she thought about how much her life sucked and how absolutely nothing was working for her. So, in a fit of desperation, she decided she needed a goal. Something to work toward.

And that goal would be to trek across the desert.

It was a crazy goal. She was completely out of shape and had no money besides. But, she was determined.

She would give herself a year to get ready.

One of the things she decided she needed to give up to get ready was smoking.

And THAT decision changed her life.

Four years later, she had lost sixty pounds, was running marathons, had a good paying job she had kept for over 3 years, paid down her debt and was about to buy a house.

And yes, she had returned to Egypt to cross the desert.

So, what happened? How did Lisa change her life so drastically in only a few years?

It’s been proven that most people who make dramatic changes in their lives in very short times have focused on changing a single habit first. And when they changed that habit, they were then able to more easily change other habits.

But, what’s interesting is not all habits are created equal.

Some habits, and smoking is one of them, are what scientists call “keystone habits.” If you’re able to change that one, you can more easily change others.

It’s a pretty cool idea, isn’t it? If you could focus on changing just one habit, it could lead to you changing a lot of unhealthy habits.

But, if you don’t smoke, then where do you look?

Alas, that wasn’t really answered in the book, so I’m going to give you my answer.

Experiment on yourself.

Pick one habit to change at a time and see what happens after you change it. It doesn’t even have to make much sense. For instance, apparently people who make their beds in the morning are far more likely to live within a financial budget.

What do those two things have in common? No idea.

And that’s not the only non sequitur when it comes how one habit influences another.

In other words, it may not make sense with our logical brain, but it can still transform your life.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book.

[Video] Flip It! How Do You Pick Yourself Up After You Fail?

[Video] Flip It! How Do You Pick Yourself Up After You Fail?

Let me start by busting a myth: If you’re successful at anything, you’ve also experienced a fail or two.

And, likely, a lot more than one or two.

I’m not sure it’s possible to BE successful without also experiencing failure. Because, if you’re not out there and trying new things and testing out new ideas and concepts while knowing you may fail, it’s difficult to BE a success.

Projects you thought would be a big hit … aren’t. Or they take longer than you planned to catch on. Or maybe they WERE a huge success, and then one day they stopped selling.

Launches crash and burn. Marketing strategies that once worked stop.

I could go on and on. And, these are just entrepreneurial examples. There’s also countless examples if you want to be an author or artist or scientist or inventor, or even climb the corporate ladder.

Thomas Edison experienced over 10,000 failures (which he didn’t call “failures”) before he figured out how to make a light bulb work.

So, I suspect you already know this. It’s not a secret.

But, I also bet you forgot.

Because, unless the fall from grace is really public, you don’t see it. A lot of failures happen behind closed doors. A product doesn’t sell as well as hoped — is that truly something most people are going to see? Probably not. It didn’t sell well so how would anyone outside the business know?

I start here because I’m beginning to believe one of the key attributes all successful people share is their ability to bounce back after they fail.

Because failure is going to happen if you want to become a success. And, the more successful you want to become, the more failure you’ll likely experience.

Now, my take on picking yourself back up after you’ve fallen is maybe a little different than what you heard. You see, I think the first thing you need to do is feel all those crappy feelings.

Yes, feel the anger, the disappointment, the resentment, the jealously, the envy, the shame, the embarrassment, the grief. Stomp your feet. Hit a pillow. Cry.

Do whatever you need to do to move that energy from your body.

Because that’s the only way you’ll be able to stop feeling those feelings.

Feelings just want to be felt. And, if you don’t feel them, they’ll keep following you around, harassing you, until you do.

So, how on earth will you be able to pick yourself up if you’re still stewing? How are you possibly going to focus on taking action to get yourself back on track when you’re still battling rage or grief or wanting to shrink into yourself and hide under your bed?

The answer — you can’t!

That’s why so many people CAN’T pick themselves back up. They may tell themselves they need to beat this, and they have to get back on their horse and all the other rah-rah inspirational motivational messages.

But, it’s just talk. If they feel like crap, it’s going to be tough to take action. Not only because you don’t feel like doing anything when your emotions are out of control, but trying to keep yourself from feeling your emotions is a lot of work, so you’re likely going to be more exhausted than normal.

So, before you do anything, before you get that plan together to beat this thing, let yourself just feel as crappy as you want to. Go ahead, let it all out. Have a big ole pity party for yourself.

And, when all of those emotions have been felt and have moved through you, you may be amazed at how easier everything looks.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

[Video] Flip It! Is Who You Are Getting In the Way of Your Big Dream?

It may not be your fault you haven’t accomplished your big dream.

The problem may be who you believe you are.

Let me explain. You may have heard the famous saying, often attributed to Henry Ford, Whether You Believe You Can Do a Thing or Not, You Are Right.

I would take that a step further and say who you BELIEVE you are, determines what you can do or can’t do.

For instance, do you say make these sorts of statements to yourself?

“I’m no good at math.” “I’m a great cook.” “I’ll never be successful.” “I’ve never been lucky.”

Take a good look at those statements. What’s one thing they all have common?

They all start with a to be verb — a version of I am.

Take a moment to let that sink in. How many times a day do you say you ARE something, whether it’s a good thing like I’m a great cook or a negative thing like I’m horrible at math?

Either way, you’re defining your accomplishments by who you believe you are.

If you believe you’ll be successful at what you set out to do, then you’ll be successful.

If you believe your parents were right and you’ll never amount to anything, you’ll never amount to anything.

But, there’s even a deeper level.

Let’s say you’ve always had a dream of owning your own business, but you’ve never taken any action toward that dream. It may be because you see yourself as a wanna be business owner rather than an actual business owner.

Or, maybe you’ve always dreamed of being a published author, but you’ve never been able to find the time to write. You may see yourself as a wanna be author.

Mark Manson in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life talks about if you somehow never seem to make any strives toward your goals, you may see yourself as someone who is forever wanting to accomplish the goal but never actually does it.

For myself, what I call love-based goals are goals that are actually whispers from your soul. These are goals that for them to come true, YOU need to transform yourself into the person your soul is calling you to be.

Simple, right? But, how do you do it? How do you change who you believe you are so you can accomplish your goals and dreams?

Start by simply observing what your inner voice or inner critic, is saying to you. You may even want to write down what that inner voice is blathering on and on about so you can really analyze it.

Chances are, you’ll find your inner voice saying some sort of version of I am, such as: I’ll never be successful or someday I’ll write my book.

So, the first thing to do is to change what you’re saying to yourself, so say I am successful or I am writing my book.

Now, if you’re not successful or you’re not writing your book, your brain is going to call BS. That’s okay. What I’m aiming for here is to see what emotions start to come up for you. Is it fear? Grief? Resentment? Anger? A combination of emotions? Something else?

I don’t want you to do anything except pause and breathe and feel those emotions.

Those emotions are what’s standing in your way of changing who you are so you can accomplish your big dream.

And, once those emotions aren’t clouding up your judgement, it will be much easier for you to see a path toward making your goals come true.

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my Love-Based Goals” book and my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.

[Video] Flip It! Can Gratitude Help You Manifest Your Dreams?

[Video] Flip It! Can Gratitude Help You Manifest Your Dreams?

If you’ve ever dabbled into Law of Attraction principles or other spiritual practices designed to help you grow your business and manifest your dreams, you’ve likely been encouraged to have a gratitude practice.

And, if you’re like a lot of entrepreneurs, including myself. you may find yourself rolling your eyes at this advice.

It sounds too easy, doesn’t it? Just come up with a list of things you’re grateful and that somehow is going to help you manifest your desires.

Really?

Precisely how is THAT going to make you more successful? Especially if you’re struggling right now and the last thing you feel is grateful.

So, I get it. I was skeptical too.

Then, I read a study in the book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

A group of participants were asked to hold a beacon with DNA strands in it while focusing on unwinding the strands. If they just used their thoughts to unwind them (like what we all learned in the movie “The Secret”, which was anything you thought about, you attracted into your life) nothing happened.

BUT, the group of participants who felt grateful as they thought about unwinding the strands, they were actually able to unwind them by 25%.

The key is to combine the emotions of gratitude with the power of your thoughts. If you can do this, and do this consistently (like every day) you’ll manifest what you desire.

Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations there is. That means the longer you’re able to stay in gratitude, the longer your energy is operating at that higher level, and as like attracts like, that high vibrational energy is attracting your desires to you.

Now, I’m grossly simplifying Dr. Dispenza’s work here, but if you want a couple of pointers to get started, take a few minutes to watch below:

 

(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)

If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book — you can check it out here.