The problem may be who you believe you are.
Let me explain. You may have heard the famous saying, often attributed to Henry Ford, Whether You Believe You Can Do a Thing or Not, You Are Right.
I would take that a step further and say who you BELIEVE you are, determines what you can do or can’t do.
For instance, do you say make these sorts of statements to yourself?
“I’m no good at math.” “I’m a great cook.” “I’ll never be successful.” “I’ve never been lucky.”
Take a good look at those statements. What’s one thing they all have common?
They all start with a to be verb — a version of I am.
Take a moment to let that sink in. How many times a day do you say you ARE something, whether it’s a good thing like I’m a great cook or a negative thing like I’m horrible at math?
Either way, you’re defining your accomplishments by who you believe you are.
If you believe you’ll be successful at what you set out to do, then you’ll be successful.
If you believe your parents were right and you’ll never amount to anything, you’ll never amount to anything.
But, there’s even a deeper level.
Let’s say you’ve always had a dream of owning your own business, but you’ve never taken any action toward that dream. It may be because you see yourself as a wanna be business owner rather than an actual business owner.
Or, maybe you’ve always dreamed of being a published author, but you’ve never been able to find the time to write. You may see yourself as a wanna be author.
Mark Manson in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life talks about if you somehow never seem to make any strives toward your goals, you may see yourself as someone who is forever wanting to accomplish the goal but never actually does it.
For myself, what I call love-based goals are goals that are actually whispers from your soul. These are goals that for them to come true, YOU need to transform yourself into the person your soul is calling you to be.
Simple, right? But, how do you do it? How do you change who you believe you are so you can accomplish your goals and dreams?
Start by simply observing what your inner voice or inner critic, is saying to you. You may even want to write down what that inner voice is blathering on and on about so you can really analyze it.
Chances are, you’ll find your inner voice saying some sort of version of I am, such as: I’ll never be successful or someday I’ll write my book.
So, the first thing to do is to change what you’re saying to yourself, so say I am successful or I am writing my book.
Now, if you’re not successful or you’re not writing your book, your brain is going to call BS. That’s okay. What I’m aiming for here is to see what emotions start to come up for you. Is it fear? Grief? Resentment? Anger? A combination of emotions? Something else?
I don’t want you to do anything except pause and breathe and feel those emotions.
Those emotions are what’s standing in your way of changing who you are so you can accomplish your big dream.
And, once those emotions aren’t clouding up your judgement, it will be much easier for you to see a path toward making your goals come true.
(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)